There's a time to shake cobwebs and a time to empathize.

I watch while a loved one sinks deeper into isolation and negativity because of past and present hostilities buried in “unforgiveness.” I miss talking and sharing events in our lives, and sometimes, I want to shake the cobwebs loose, knock on her forehead and ask, “Is anybody home, anymore?” But there is a time to shake cobwebs and a time to empathize.

  I have decided to live and let live but more important, try to empathize. What else is there to do when someone blames others while refusing to accept any personal responsibility, including being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Normally, I’d try to intervene, but I have learned that listening and finding empathy is best. Empathy is not easy to accomplish, but it’s the best beginning place that I know.

  There are always two sides to every story, but empathy only involves listening and trying to understand the story being told or the motives of the person telling it in “real time.” This is not a time to offer advice; it’s a time to step into the heart and soul of someone else, “walk a mile in [their] shoes,” and try to experience what they feel.

 

  As a professor of mine once said, “The problem with advice is someone might take it" (G. Nkondo). Stepping in to offer assistance and advice without a warrant is risky business. It’s much easier to listen and try to empathize. Regarding my loved one, the matter is resolved. After much thought, I have decided to keep quiet and keep trying to walk that mile toward empathy.