• Just so you know:

I miss Whitney Houston, so I took a while to process what happened to her. I don't think we can truly understand what she was telling us through her interviews and her music. She had the greatest gifts, the greatest opportunities, and the greatest love. I like remembering all of her talents and gifts, but after losing so much, how could she not be depressed at some point in time? Losing her greatest love, her celebrity, and finally her voice--what would you do in a similar situation? How would you feel? She needed loved ones around 24/7. I don't know whether that was available. I can only hope that it was.

• After all is said and done:

Knowing the symptoms of PTSD and depression so that we can practice early intervention is extremely important. All over Manhattan, there are signs posted. They say, "If you see something, say something."  But how often do we do that with loved ones who seem to be spinning out of control? Do we just shrug and say, "Oh, well," or do we truly try to understand and offer our support?
     So many celebrities and fans are disturbed by the media blitz regarding the life and death of Whitney Houston. Yet, while she was struggling with overcoming her personal demons, we stood on the sidelines watching her demise. Why is it, we only miss our water when the well runs dry? Research and personal experience have taught me that the brain gravitates toward negativity--first and foremost. So what does this mean? To me, it means we notice problems first because our brains are programmed to do so. But in order to help others survive, we must recognize signs of PTSD and depression, and we must not be afraid to intervene and offer help.
     Negative thinking is natural, but incessant negativity and sadness that lasts two weeks or longer is a signal that something has gone wrong. It's up to each person to be mindful of negative thoughts so that they don't overtake us or our loved ones.   Negative thoughts need attention. They need to be recognized as an invisible assailant and as a hazard to our emotional well-being or to the emotional well-being of someone we love.

• There is hope:

Negative thoughts can overtake us only if we choose to entertain them. They must be confronted and exchanged for positive thoughts that make sense. Our brain wants us to feel happy and safe, and it is capable of changing its structure in order to help us cope and overcome negativity. It's not easy, but it's do-able. It's up to each individual to find willpower enough to change negative thinking into positive. It's a matter of choice. When a negative thought arises, it is important to confront it, question its validity, and change it--every time. It's nice to know that our brain changes to accommodate our fears and fantasies. If we confront our fears and create positive fantasies, our brains will obey.

Thank-U!

Thanks for following this blog and to those who just stopped by. Feel free to express feelings, make suggestions or just listen in.

Tribute to Whitney Elizabeth Houston

Beauty and success in life aren’t quite enough.

            We must live with a sense of purpose one day at a time

                        because tomorrow is not promised.

"Remembering Whitney Houston"

                                       (c) M.D. Johnson (2012)

So many people on her side, some hoped to see her fall.

Side-stepping this, performing that, how could she do it all?

She found her voice in a Newark church at a very early age

But then she found her purpose and the joy of a global stage.

She sang to us in golden rays of sunshine straight from Heaven

Her beauty, grace and resonance will warm our hearts forever.

As she achieved accolades, she tried to please us all

Until one day she ventured on a trip to her downfall.

She fell in love and married, a soul-mate so it seemed

But all the love and wedded bliss left her feeling unredeemed.

But she pulled herself together, a gentle soul was she,

While cameras and performances disgraced her on TV.

Rare as lilacs in December, a diva in distress

Stood and fell and rose again in all her loveliness!

But being perfect has its price and there comes a reckoning day

Come rain or shine or dark of night, the maker has His say.

But nothing ventured, nothing gained is an angel’s quiet confession.

She walked a journey of her own seeking love and perfection

Something she was born with but didn’t understand

Which is why she walked the earth down here according to the plan.

But He walked that path alongside her and then led her to Glory land.

Whitney Elizabeth Houston, the world wishes you well.

You will be missed by trillions, but now you can exhale.
(c) M.D. Johnson (2012)

Negativity and the brain

     Each day, I get an opportunity to make a difference, but some days I'm not feeling it. I decide to procrastinate or second-guess myself. Sometimes I think of abandoning difficult projects, but then I remember that I'm responsible for my day--not my week, just one day. This day. So I pick up my banner and keep walking, head held high. Today.

     Our brain is programmed toward  negativity in order to keep us safe. Negative thinking comes naturally, but it's up to us to "deselect" it. Living happens one day at a time, and reprogramming our brain happens one thought at a time.  Living a purposeful life one day at a time means combating negative thoughts--every time. It means catching yourself in the act of agreeing with negative thoughts.  Excessive negative thoughts come and stay, or they come and we chase them away. It's always our choice, always has been.

     We can choose to entertain negativity or we can confront negative thoughts. For example, like so many people, I grew up with many negative experiences. One experience left me afraid of pit bulls. Now, if I see a pit bull, my brain tells me, "You're terrified," and I start to agree but on one particular day, I see someone approaching the man and his pit bull dog, the tail wagging and everyone smiling. I feel duped by the brain again. I didn't have to put the negative spin on this chance encounter, but I did. Consequently, I started to cross to the other side of the street. But after the dog wagged its tail, I didn't.

     Changing negative thoughts is a day by day affair, but it happens. I changed my thoughts and wasn't afraid when I passed the owner with his pit bull on a leash. I wasn't prepared to smile just yet, but I told my brain to stop it! It's amazing how many negative thinking choices the brain makes based on what we've told it to do over the years.  But like a contented pit bull, the brain is obedient. In times of stress, it can even change its structure in an attempt to keep us emotionally grounded. It does what we tell it to do and it's able to relearn. Amazing apparatus, the brain.

     Living without fear and with a sense of purpose begins with saying, No! to negative thinking, making a plan, and setting goals for what we want to achieve. The brain will do whatever it can to accommodate our hopes and dreams. Stuff happens whether we like it or not, but purposeful living happens according to a plan, and negative thinking stops because we tell it to, one day at a time.
    

What's your self-worth?

Self-worth is not hard to determine. All others need to see is how we treat ourselves. Respect yourself, even for the little accomplishments. This increases feelings of self-worth. If you survived anything at all--being born into this world, bullying in elementary or middle school, emotional trauma, workplace harassment, or any kind of overwhelming stress, you are a hero. Be your own champion whether anyone is listening or not. You are a child of the universe, and you have a right to be here, maybe even a purpose for being here.

Just being here, you are a hero, whether you believe it right now or not. The challenge is to make yourself believe. Someone said (and you've heard this before), "As a wo/man thinketh..., so is s/he." Change your thoughts and change your reality. But this is easier said than done. When people claim, life is a journey, just the sound of the word, "journey" depresses me. It sounds long, tedious, and uneventful. I might not finish a journey, but I might finish something else. Life is an "adventure" sounds much better--but who am I fooling? I'm afraid of alligators, frogs, kangaroos, and many adventurous things, so life as an "adventure" won't do. Clearly, I'm not as adventurous as I used to think.

So I like to say life is a "process," complete with rules we may not understand or may not want to follow. But follow, we must, if we want to get somewhere fast or even not so fast. Like any process, when it comes to living there are steps to follow unless we're content to bang our heads against walls or go around in circles, becoming exhausted and finally giving up. Success rarely happens overnight. It take practice and persistence, but it begins with stamina followed by a step-by-step process for accomplishing our goals, whatever we say they are.

Reaching goals begins with building stamina and self-esteem, whether life is a journey, and adventure or a process. Building emotional stamina and self-esteem is a type of strength training for the body as well as the soul. As with any process, you'll need to pay attention to the details, the little twists and turns along the way, and you'll need to anticipate the best as well as the worst of times. Most important, you'll need to value your accomplishments no matter how petty they might seem, and congratulate yourself for surviving a day. This will strengthen your sense of self-worth.

If you feel like writing, here's a challenge. Try to complete the following emotional strength-building tasks:

• List five things you like about yourself, your strengths, your accomplishments, your assets, or your attributes.
• List five things you are grateful for.
• List five goals that you want to accomplish before you leave this blessed earth.
• List five reasons to smile.
• Face the mirror five days in a row and offer a smile.

If you are unable to complete these tasks, don't worry. Take things more slowly. If you can only list one attribute, one asset, one accomplishment or one strength, congratulations! If you can list one goal, kudos! If you can manage to smile only once in a week, cheers! You are a hero!
Emme

 

Writing is Therapeutic--What's on your mind?

     This blogsite offers a place for sharing ideas, asking questions, posting comments, and building a network of people who can be counted on for support. This blog is dedicated to those who 1)  survived a traumatic event 2)   know someone who survived  or 3)  want to be part of a supportive network of comrades. This is not a dating site nor is it a site that offers licensed medical advice. This site is for expression and informational purposes only.

     Please note: If you post a story or comment, it will not be evaluated, except by request. If you'd like a personal response from me, just let me know and leave me an email address. I promise to contact you within 24-48 hours.

     The following is an excerpt from a longer writing. It's neither personal nor political. It's just a writing. Feel free to respond to any comment written by me or someone else or please write on a topic of your own. Just be kind to each other, if you don't mind. Any offensive material knowingly or unknowingly intended to hurt or undermine--we all know what that means--will not become a permanent post.

Thanks

Emme

Dear Diary,

           Watching the Victoria’s Secret extravaganza not very long ago, I was reminded of the marginalization of beautiful women of color all over the world.  Suddenly, I understood why much of what I do, most of what I write has no meaning at all in real time. There’s the story I want to tell, the story the world wants me to tell, and the story I dare not tell about the oppression experienced by women first and foremost, but particularly women of color, and especially attractive women of color.

           Oppression comes in many forms from very subtle psychological innuendo to extreme physical abuse. For every story told, there are two that will not be told, unless someone breaks the secret code of silence, risks being considered or labeled a “trouble-maker,” home wrecker or “whistle blower,” and consents to being ostracized by friends, neighbors, and co-worker. Overnight, she's relegated to second-class citizenry in the land of the free, home of the brave. “Bravery” is what they call it when they’re smiling in your face, but once the cars pull away, you know they’re whispering about how you should have kept your big mouth shut.

           Bravery--such a hearty sounding word, like a bowl of home-made chicken soup with a cup of white wine stirred in traveling all the way down to your belly just to nourish your heart and lungs. But like that hearty bowl of soup, bravery is a quality that lacks appreciation, especially when it comes from a woman scorned. Nobody knows how such bravery works, but from the moment a woman speaks the sordid truth, her life is transformed. Everyone talks about bravery, but no one wants to see it up close and personal. As a result, the silent oppression of women, particularly attractive women of color continues...

Blogging on knowing the effects of emotional trauma & taking immediate action to diminish its effects.

My Introduction:

Hello, my name is Emme. This blog is dedicated to addressing the effects of emotional trauma. Please feel free to respond or offer ideas and suggestions, as this blog is a work in progress. So many have lost their lives after suffering PTSD or depression following a traumatic event. But because symptoms often go unrecognized,  friends and family have been shocked and overcome with guilt and grief when somebody decided to take a life, often their own. Knowing the effects of emotional trauma  is the first step in providing support to those suffering its effects. This blog is dedicated to offering group and individualized support to those who experienced emotional trauma and who wish to share experiences with others.

My Qualifications:

I've been a teacher, instructor, community planner, and more. When I'm not writing, I develop workshops on writing and emotional intelligence. I have had friends and family who suffered PTSD and depression, and I have overcome PTSD triggered by an extremely tragic event. Through years of research and  training, I have come to understand what it means to have an invisible emotional dysfunction, such as PTSD or depression which others cannot see or comprehend. After the death of friends--one who killed a son and one who committed suicide, I started to write about how to survive. After years of research, I have  learned why some succumb to the effects of trauma and others do not.

My Definition:

Emotional or psychological trauma is best defined as the effect of stress that overwhelms a person’s ability to process emotions. It can be caused by natural disasters, death or sudden loss, acts of terror,  fatal accidents or any event that overwhelms the emotional system.

Unacknowledged or untreated, emotional trauma can lead to physical symptoms like shattered nerves and irritability; disturbed sleep and eating routines;  sexual dysfunction; or unexplained physical pain. Emotional or psychological trauma creates feelings of vulnerability, helplessness, and fear of  further loss. If untreated, it can lead to anxiety disorders, PTSD and depression. It can also lead to suicide.

My Mission:

This blog is created to offer information and support  to sufferers of trauma, PTSD, and depression by sharing ideas, personal  experiences,  and best practices  online, through confidential email or through private telephone conversations, by request.

My  goal is to highlight and  emphasize the need for intervention after traumatic or catastrophic events, expose the symptoms of PTSD and depression, and help de-stigmatize these emotional disorders.  People react differently to trauma and need different types of intervention, but far too many feel guilty, ashamed, and damaged by something that was not their fault. Symptoms of an emotional disorder can be hidden or invisible, and when friends and family don't understand,  feelings of inadequacy, guilt or shame are intensified.

My Purpose:

My purpose is to build an online community of support among survivors  of PTSD and depression, offer strategies  for building emotional resilience,  and share tips for purposeful living.

My Focus and Target Audience:

This blog invites individuals who wish to help others overcome the effects of emotional trauma by sharing ideas and experiences and lending emotional support. I will be offering information and self-help solutions, such as activities in journaling, creative writing, building emotional intelligence, and living 24 hours at a time. I hope this blog provides a safe and supportive environment  for those who need to know that they are not alone and someone understands. "It takes a village," especially when it comes to overcoming the effects of emotional trauma. If you think you can help, we need you here. Join me in building a community of support.

Note: This blog is for informational purposes and networking. It is supported by research and training on emotional trauma, PTSD, depression, and emotional intelligence. It uses information on best practices and utilizes learning based on education and personal experience. This blog  is not a substitute for evaluation and treatment by a licensed mental health practitioner. It does not make medical referrals or offer medical advice. Instead, this blog exists for education and building a community of shared support.

My Quotable:

(Excerpted from Max Erhmann’s, “Desiderata”)

“You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”

 

My Thought for Today: 

(Inspired by Max Erhmann’s, “Desiderata” )

“I am a child of the universe, no less than the birds and the stars, always learning and reaching to overcome obstacles, strengthen self-worth and live a purposeful life.”