Thanks! The October 2012 Writing is Therapeutic Contest is now closed.

Thank you for your thoughts and responses via email and Twitter. The Writing is Therapeutic Contest, October 1-25, 2012, is now closed. Some of you had trouble accessing this site but the problem is corrected. Please try again next time. Because of this problem and in fairness to all writers, no winners were determined. Pleased stay turned for the next Writing is Therapeutic Contest TBA.
Emme

Friendship happens over time but when it happens, it's hard to destroy.

For many of us, it's hard to depend on others because on some level, we fear they might let us down. This is negative thinking that stops us from fulfilling a basic need--the need for love and validation from family and friends. With family, we take what we get and make the most of it. But friends are different. Friends give us love and they validate us on some level. Friends don't hate, don't judge or condemn, and don't give up on us. Friendship happens over time, but when it happens, it's hard to destroy.  If trouble comes between friends, it's worth working on and working out.  Some of us need friendship more than others and some of us need a variety of friends, which is why friendship can exist on many levels, but we all need to know there is someone who thinks of us, cares what happens to us, and believes in us. If you think about it, friendship makes our world a nicer place in which to live. The article that follows caught my attention for so many reasons. I hope you like it, too.


Article: The Promise of Friendship | The Responsibility Project by Liberty Mutual

When you think it can't be done, find a mentor.

Sometimes, it takes more than courage to accomplish a goal because achievement often depends on the help of others. In this case, it’s important to find a mentor or someone who knows more than you do about the subject matter, but also one who has accomplished enough to want to help you become the best you can be. Such people are rare, so it takes determination, research and effort to find them and to get their help.

The other day, my sister sat down with the Mayor of her town because the Mayor knew and liked her fantastic son. My sister was excited about meeting the Mayor because they shared a common interest. At the present time, my sister doesn’t need a thing, but just in case, she might have a friend on her side or someone she can call on if need be. It’s nice to know someone who can help.

The trick to finding help when you need it is not only in knowing who can help but also knowing what you have to offer, even if it’s a hobby, friendship or being a good listener. Whether we know it or not, most everyone has something of value to share—even if it’s just information on how to change a flat tire. It's important to come into any relationship believing that you have value.

Sometimes, you really might have little to offer at this time, but even if you accept this as your personal truth, you can still offer assistance in whatever way you can. People are happy to know you’re willing to reciprocate and offer an even exchange now or in the future to them or to someone else. When you are able to reciprocate in some small way, they also trust that their help will be appreciated and utilized. What you have to offer might require some extra thought before you approach a possible mentor. Sometimes, all someone else needs is friendship, a good listener, or someone who understands. Later on, they might be able to use a volunteer for some reason. 

If you ask, a mentor will probably not charge for any services, so it’s always good to know what you offer, no matter how insignificant it might seem. Knowing your strengths will offset your feelings of weaknesses. Knowing exactly what you want and how a mentor can be utilized is also important. That way, the task doesn’t seem so complex or time-consuming, which makes it easier for them to say, “Yes, of course.”

So when the going gets tough, don’t be afraid to reach out and touch. Know yourself, know your assets and determine your needs.  Then reach out and ask for help with confidence that the answer will be yes because believe it or not, you're a good investment. If at first you don't succeed, be thankful that someone took the time to listen and consider your request. Every time you tell your story to a possible mentor, you build confidence, and eventually, the answer will be, “Yes!” So go for it. When you think it can't be done, find a mentor.

When it's okay to spread gossip....

I try to not spread gossip about others. Of course, I might gossip a little, but not when it means betraying someone's trust.  When I manage to spread gossip, I might talk about a situation, but I'll never talk about a specific person because each individual is special but their situation is not. Psychologist, Carl Jung, determined that we're all joined across cultures, race, and religion by what he termed a "collective unconscious," and our experiences are similar. So "if you see something, say something."
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When I share, it's with the intention that somebody, somewhere, needs to know that they are not alone in the things they experience. Someone, somewhere is facing the same trauma or facing a similar dilemma. Sometimes, people just need to know that others face a situation similar to theirs. For example, I was watching Dr. Phil today and trying to understand this horrendous story about a girl abused by her father from age six to age seventeen. After extreme abuses of all kinds, she was a drug addict but she still loved her father despite finally reporting him and helping to send him to prison. Although he was in prison, she still wanted him to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. The girl's mother guessed that her daughter would live with her father if given the chance. The girl felt that her father victimized her and allowed others to do so, but he protected her as well. The girls was confused about her feelings. ********************************************************************************************************************
Dr. Phil, of course, brought in the experts and offered some help from Hannah's House, a place of refuge and psychological repair http://www.hannahshouse.org. He also explained that the girl's psychological development had been arrested at an early age and her problem-solving skills had been compromised by the drug abuse, the physical abuse and psychological devastation. I rarely watch Dr. Phil because when I do, I end up watching other programs, but I'm glad I watched today. Dr. Phil wanted to share this story because he said there are others who experience the same (which is hard to believe because the mother had no idea it was happening even with other children in the home & noone informed her!) No one said.
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I try to say something as polite as I can, and I try to not gossip, but when I do, it's a share! http://www.drphil.com.

5 Questions On Connecting to Our Animal Instincts

If you had to be part of the animal world, which animal world would you choose to be part of? We all have characteristics that are both human and animalistic and in recognizing who we are and accepting ourselves, we also accept the underlying characteristics that define us as individuals and human animals.

We humans think we are superior to lesser species, such as animals, because our brains are larger or because we have the power of memory, recollection, sympathy and remorse. We think this makes us superior to animals but animals might just be the most powerful ones.  Animals seem to have no regrets or guilty feelings to hold them back, so they are not saddled with feelings that undermine their self-esteem and lead to feelings of failure. Can you imagine how life would be without these psychological burdens?

Actually, I envy animals. Animals seek members of their own group—they don’t try to get in where they don’t fit in for the sake of prestige or blind ambition. They don’t seek relationships with birds or other sub-species that might be hostile to their kind.  Animals look for kindred spirits as if to remind us, “Birds of a feather stick together.” Birds of a feather simply means, stick with people that you have something in common with. Animals do this naturally.

Animals know themselves and what they like, eat what nourishes them, and don’t overeat to the point of lethargy or illness. Also, animals never think about failure.  They only envision success. Each day, they begin with one goal—food. Each day they fulfill basic needs and if they happen to fail, they don’t look back or complain.  Animals follow a proven routine passed down from generations without questioning. Each strategic move is based on proven strategies that have worked through the generations. If they fail, it’s not because they didn’t have a plan. They graciously accept failure or success of their present circumstances. If they don’t make a catch today, they leave the scene and go home.  The next day, they start all over again with hopes that they will succeed.

We all have an animal counterpart, at least I think we do. We need to find an animal that inspires us, and follow its routine when it comes to identifying and meeting our basic needs.  Because we do have more emotions, we will be faced with more psychological challenges during the course of a day, but following our animal instincts will help us meet our basic needs such as, food, shelter, safety, intimacy and togetherness.

Some of us prefer to travel solo, like a leopard. Others prefer a group, like lions or wolves. Once we identify our animal counterpart, it will help with finding our comfort zone and accepting who we are, identifying our limits, beliefs and boundaries, and accepting our preferences when it comes to interacting with others.

If we want to be successful, we need to follow our animal instincts that tell us who we are. “Know thyself” is almost a cliché’, but it is always relevant. Once we find our animal instinct, we are able to build upon it and nurture it.  Self-knowledge is the key to understanding others, and understanding others is the key to success. Animals do it and so can we.

Start with this list of questions for self-awareness and build on it:

1.       Start with self-knowledge—what animal personality are you?

2.   What are your predominant traits?

3.   What are you needs?

4.  How will you fulfill your needs day to day?

5.   What is your philosophy of love, life, or happiness?