Laughter & Rum Cake: Shortest distance between people but don't eat & drive!

This recipe for Rum Cake looks delicious. It was shared by my sister during the holiday season and I couldn't stop laughing. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people,

 laughter is therapeutic with many of the same benefits as exercise,

 and laughter is contagious. Did I say that it lifts the spirit?

Enjoy the Rum Cake but don't eat and drive.

            BEST RUM CAKE EVER     

            (recipe donated by Von)

1 or 2 Quarts of Rum                                 Baking Powder

1 cup butter                                               1 tsp. soda

1 tsp. sugar                                                Lemon Juice                           

2 large eggs                                               Brown Sugar

1 cup dried fruit                                          Nuts

____________________________________________________________

Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality, Good, isn’t it?

Now, go ahead.  Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc.

Check the rum again.  It must be just right.  To be sure the Rum is of the highest quality, pour 1 level cup of Rum into a glass.  Drink it as fast as you can.  Repeat.

With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one seaspoon of thugar and beat again.

Meanwhile, continue making sure the Rum is of the finest quality.  Cry another cup.  Open second quart if nethethary.

Add 2 large leggs, 2 cups fried druit, and beat until high, if druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriber.

Sample the Rum again., checking for toncistenity.

Next, sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it really doen’t matter.)

Sample Rum again.

Sift ½ pint of lemon juice.  Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts.  Add 1 babblespoon of brown thuger, or whatever color you can find. Wix mel.

Grease boven and turn cake pan to 350 gredees.  Now poor the whole mess into the boven and ake.

Check the Rum again, and bo to ged.

Happy Thanksgiving--go bananas!

Happy Thanksgiving! Go Bananas!

If there's one thing I love about Thanksgiving, it's knowing that everyone is in sync--eating, drinking, laughing or feeling lonely all together as one. Wherever we are, there's a place for us and there's someone doing exactly what we are doing on that day. Thanksgiving Day is that special day when we eat, drink, sleep, or cook too much but it's only one day, so it's okay to "go bananas!"

On Thanksgiving Day, we are never alone. If feeling alone, we can change our thinking and focus on the little things--even if it's one little thing--that we're grateful for. Thanksgiving Day is a time set aside to boost the economy while giving thanks. It's one more time during the year that we are forced to take time to show gratitude. The government loves it, retailers love it and family members love it. But whether with friends, family, traveling, or home alone, we all have a reason to celebrate Thanksgiving Day.

On Thanksgiving Day, I watch the MACYS Thanksgiving Day parade while preparing dinner. I usually bake desserts the day before, so all I have is the meats, veggies and bread/rolls  to worry about. Whether I have guests or dine alone, I try to bake a dish that I especially like (even if no one else does), and I also try a new recipe, something that will make others "go bananas."  After I finish cooking, I dress for dinner. Then I sit down and relax with a diet Pepsi or a glass of red wine. After a bit of TV or conversation, I serve dinner. I used to wash dinner afterwards, but now I hide them in the dishwasher until the end of the day.

Nowadays, I keep my table set--a table for two. If I'm alone, I feel that someone I love is sitting across from me and sharing my joy.  It's just my imagination, I know, but if I'm alone, I don't feel lonely when my table is set for two. Thanksgiving Day is no different. Of course, as I'm cooking,  I'll get a phone call or two and I'll make a few phone calls before the day is complete, just to wish someone Happy Thanksgiving, but whether I'm alone or with guests, Thanksgiving Day is spent focusing on what's happening at my address.
With the focus on family and friends, holidays can make us happy or sad, depending on our state of mind. When the holiday season comes around, people celebrate, so it would be nice to share it with others, but some of us don't have friends and family close by. That's when it helps to make a list of things to do.
There are at least ten (10) things to do on Thanksgiving Day.

• Pamper yourself.
• Find something special to be grateful for.
• Watch football on tv.
• Watch the MACYS Thanksgiving Day Parade.
• Phone family or friends.
• Bake something special.
• Stay safe.
• Know that it's okay to feel alone.
• Celebrate the magic of you.
• Offer a prayer of thanks to your higher power.

People enjoy many lifestyles, but holidays can make us question the way we live. Thanksgiving Day is for all of us because if we're living and able to laugh, we have something to be thankful for. If you're not feeling excited or if you feel saddened by this holiday, make a list of things to be thankful for or follow the one above. Whatever you do, celebrate and be grateful, and if the spirit moves you, "go bananas!"

Emotional Intelligence & Rudyard Kipling's, "If"

Excerpt from “If” (1895) – Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise…

Emotional intelligence is difficult to define because emotions are difficult to define, but it includes having such knowledge of self and others that you're able to respond appropriately to others from the standpoint of self-awareness and empathy every time.

Although the concept of emotional intelligence seems new, it is not new. It was taught by Norman Vincent Peale (The Power of Positive Thinking, 1952) and many others to teach social skills and appropriate behavior.  The key to emotional intelligence is being “appropriate” in responding to any situation at hand.

The poem, “If” by Rudyard Kipling, was my mother’s favorite poem. It is listed on her website: http://www.survivingaday.com. She taught us by example, quotations, old sayings, and poems.  It was only after I read the poem in terms of building emotional intelligence that I realized the additional power behind its message.

Emotional intelligence is a skill that we begin to develop in early childhood. Some people are provided with the tools for strong emotional strength as they grow up; others must work to achieve them after they become adults. But like any skill, emotional intelligence can be learned and developed. Principles of Emotional Intelligence are described differently but they generally consist of the following characteristics:

• Self awareness
• Self management
• Self-esteem
• Awareness of others
• Motivation and will power
• Empathy
• Assertiveness
• Appropriateness

Using words from Rudyard Kipling's poem, I'd like to share my thoughts based on the principles of emotional intelligence. You may discover additional meanings behind words in this poem, but that’s what makes it poetry:

“If you can keep your head” implies self-management.

“When all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you” implies self-esteem and empathy.

If you can “trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too, implies understanding of self and others—No one is perfect, so accept flaws and hold others accountable.

“If you can wait and not be tired by waiting” implies  will power, stamina and hopefulness.

“Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies” implies maintaining your integrity and behaving appropriately—how do you begin to unravel a lie without misrepresenting yourself?

“Or being hated don’t give way to hating,” suggests the importance of self-knowledge and respecting your beliefs and habits.  People may not like you for their personal reasons, but that doesn’t change how you respond to them. “An eye for an eye” only leads to more blindness and pain.

“Yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise…” suggests empathy, humility” and awareness of how others might perceive you, whether it reflects who you are or not.

Ways to build emotional intelligence can be found in most everything, including this poem. I remember reading it just for inspiration, not for the emotional strength-building it suggests. It’s a much longer poem but certainly worth the read. Google for the poem and for more information on the poem.
Until we meet again,
(c) M.D. Johnson (2012)

Veteran's Day: I don't know who I'm thanking.

Veteran’s Day: I don’t know who I’m thanking, my brother, Junior or my brother, Charles.

Once upon a time, I signed up for the U.S. Air Force but because of a few technicalities, I left their office without signing on the dotted line. In the after math, I’ve learned that the  U.S. military is not for the faint-hearted because one must be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice.

We take our military for granted—coming to the rescue and keeping the peace in times of riots and political unrest, conducting search and rescue missions after natural disasters and acts of terror, bringing order to chaos no matter the circumstances, and fighting wars. We expect our military to weather the storms, and when the time comes, we graciously and shamelessly accept their ultimate sacrifice.

Our military families cannot be repaid—not with the G.I. Bill, veteran’s benefits or our individual thanks as we pass them by on our city streets. The best we can do is support them on Veteran’s Day because so many of our military personnel did not survive and although most remain alive, far too many also remain homeless, emotionally impaired, or unemployed.  On Monday, November 12, 2012, we observe Veteran’s Day. This is something veterans appreciate and something we can easily do.

For veterans, despite free meals on each birthday offered at many restaurants, Veterans Day is special. To make the simplest gestures of appreciation, participating restaurants make sure that veterans and their family members eat free: Golden Corral, Olive Garden, Applebees, Texas Roadhouse, On the Border, Famous Dave’s, and Red Robin restaurants. Veterans can also "google" to find other places that salute them and their families with a free meal. Veterans need to show the appropriate I.D.’s, so it’s important to call and ask what documents to bring. Besides this official National holiday in recognition of our military women and men, we can walk up to a uniformed soldier and say, “Thank you, for your service” or "Thank you, for serving our country."

On a personal note, my brother was killed while in the military and our family accepts there will be a permanent hole in our family tree. If I had known I’d have him for only 21 short years, I know I would have been more patient and more forgiving of his antics, and when he visited my apartment that night before he left for the very last time and was asked to leave because he was “past curfew,” I would have told my landlady to go straight to “you know where.” But “regret” is just a five-letter word, nothing more.

What I learned from my brother is that time is not always on our side, so we need to seize each precious moment and live it fully. If we love someone, we need to let them know, and if we need to forgive, we must do it now. As my mother, Ms. Essie always used to say, “Tomorrow is not promised.” So many families of veterans understand the magnitude of this short statement, but do we “civilians” really get it? I think we need to “get it” and learn to appreciate the little things in life, especially our veterans.

On Veteran’s Day, 2012, we can celebrate and salute our veterans. Our veterans cannot be thanked enough but we can try.  I wish all of our veterans a Happy Veteran’s Day, and that includes my brother Charles who lives to talk about his life in the military.  My brother, Junior, did not but his memory will never fade. I have fond memories of Junior, but I cannot wait to tell my brother Charles, “Thank you, for serving our country.” Happy Veteran’s Day to all who serve our country!

Mother Nature doesn't always have the last say!

Hurricane #Sandy is Mother Nature’s attempt to balance the natural universe, but its destruction is something we could never expect. The northeast has been able to withstand tornadoes, hurricanes, nor’easters, floods, fires and events of devastating consequences, but it’s still hard to believe this. When we see images of the NYC subway system flooded out, entire neighborhoods burning to the ground, hospitals being evacuated via the stairwell or hear of children swept from their mother’s arms and left to drown, we wonder what we ever did wrong.

Change is inevitable, this we know. Existence has always depended on ebb and flow, and the only thing we can ever expect or hope for is change. But some types of change can lead to further change. Without realizing the effects of modern progress, we have transformed our environment through oil-drilling, coal mining, over-fishing, “fracking,” and more. Whether these practices are good or bad is not the question. The question is, how will the natural environment restore itself? Mother Nature has sent a message that we are in the process of change, and in balancing her world, she has devastated ours.

There is little to be done with Mother Nature, but this is the time for us to support one another, and be wary of signs of stress in others and in ourselves. #Hurricane #Sandy was a traumatic event for most who suffered through it, especially those who lost everything or witnessed its devastation up close and personal. Post-Traumatic-Stress Disorder is a natural result of such traumatic events, and PTSD can lead to depression or even suicide. We are "a village" and we need each other at a time like this.

Emotional effects of trauma are often invisible, so if someone experienced its effects, they'll need to express their emotions. If you sense a change in someone you know, ask the right questions. Know the symptoms of PTSD and depression and be aware. “If you see something, say something,” and whenever you can, do something. Our history depends of us hanging in there, one nation indivisible. It took “a village” yesterday, and it takes a village today. Sometimes, the help we offer can be a matter of life or death.

People are without electricity and many are homeless. If you want to help victims of #Sandy, you can find ways to do so in your local community. You can also donate to the American Red Cross, The Salvation Army, and a hunger relief charity (recommended on NBC TODAY), Feeding America. How well we recover from this disaster is up to us. Then we can focus on strengthening our infrastructure or preparing for future storms.

Life is change and Mother Nature doesn’t always have the last say. We can protect ourselves against lasting damage by supporting one another and rebuilding our communities. This includes protecting against the long-range effects of emotional trauma. We need strong communities in every sense of the word.