Do something for somebody quick!

Do something for somebody quick!

People suffering PTSD and depression tend to forget about others as they struggle with their own symptoms and problems in life, but the easiest way to feel better is to think of someone else, no matter how distressed you feel. You might want to donate, volunteer, or offer to wash a neighbor's car. You might see someone in distress and offer to help. You might even offer a community resource if you know that you won't cause offense.

As a child, whenever I felt sad, I went to the library, read a bit, and checked out a book of poems. My favorite was Best Loved Poems of the American People, published back in 1938 or so. The following poem is an excerpt. What follows the poem is food for thought. PTSD and depression can be tackled without medication, but not without reaching out to others...


#1 How to be happy
Are you almost disgusted with life, little man?
I'll tell you a wonderful trick
that will bring you contentment, if anything can
Do something for somebody, quick!

Are you awfully tired with play, little girl?
Wearied, discouraged, and sick-
I'll tell you the loveliest game in the world,
Do something for somebody quick!

Though it rains like the rain of the flood, little man
and the clouds are forbidding and thick,
You can make the sun shine in your soul, little man
Do something for somebody, quick!

Though the stars are like brass overhead, little girl,
and the walks like a well-heated brick
and our earthly affairs in a terrible whirl,
Do something for somebody, quick!

It only takes a minute to save or lose a life. You never know when you're staring in the face of someone who's just about given up. It takes participation from all of us to recognize and support someone in distress. Suicide prevention is no longer a personal matter, and emotional disorders that lead to suicide are no longer stigmatized and private affairs. "If you see something, say something." It might mean a lifetime of difference for someone.

And one more thing: Happiness always follows a good deed, if only for a moment, but that's how we live anyway--moment to moment one day at a time. - (c) M.D.Johnson (2012)

48 million taking Xanax

 48 million taking Xanax

Watching one of the morning shows, I was surprised to learn that 48 million Americans take Xanax to "take the edge off" of an otherwise stressful day. But Xanax is only one type of medication used for such purposes. With this in mind, is there any wonder we're so unresponsive or apathetic toward others who might need emotional support? Or is it any wonder we fail to see signs of emotional upheaval in friends and family?

We're living in hectic times. School bullying, harassment, or other causes of stress often go unnoticed by others. Many who know and love us don't have time to notice changes in our behavior or demeanor, especially if they're taking meds to manage their own levels of stress. We all must learn to handle stress in our lives, and meds are not the answer. They are prescribed for temporary relief from serious emotional trauma and designed to work with exercises to build emotional resilience.

The point here is, medication only lasts for a short while before the dosage must be increased. This makes medications like Xanax highly addictive. So if you're like the 48 million taking Xanax to reduce levels of stress, BUYER BEWARE. Taking a prescribed mediation can be helpful in the short term, but if you don't learn to manage your own levels of stress and anxiety and build your emotional skills, meds can be deadly. There are far better ways to build emotional competence.
(c) M.D. Johnson (2012)

Note to Self: Be aware of Yourself!

 Note to self: Be aware of Yourself!

Break the habit of reactivity—reacting to what others say, do, and perceive. Build yourself a formula for withstanding negativity and going into Default Mode, which is the "What-I-Stand-For/Who-I-Want-To-Be" Mode. It’s not what happens but how we react that makes the difference.

On the night of 9/ll, I was driving around, looking for a back way out of Queens and into Jersey City where my daughter lived. She worked on Manhattan's East Side, changed at the World Trade Center, and transferred to something headed uptown. I babysat her son at my apartment in Queens. That morning we had talked. She was heading to work and would drop by at about six to pick up her son (because she'd been sick, he'd been staying with me for a week). Absorbed in events of the day, I hadn't noticed the time. It was 8:30 pm and my daughter had not arrived, which is why I felt I needed to find her, prayed to find her in her New Jersey apartment. I was overjoyed when she opened the door explaining why she couldn't call, but I mourned those who didn't make it home.

I thought I was trauma-proof, but I guess not. Although no one thing causes PTSD, it often follows traumatic events. And for me, it did. With PTSD, I learned what it means to be confused and hyper-vigilant, and although I didn’t seek medication, medical intervention or get a proper diagnosis, I think I should have. Not knowing the symptoms of PTSD didn't help--shattered nerves, extreme anxiety, nervousness, fear and aggressiveness,(some have nightmares--I didn't).

I never dreamed that for some individuals, facing trauma can have devastating side-effects. An emotional disorder depends on a combination of factors interacting to create conditions for what might be called, a perfect storm. Many individuals need medical intervention after a traumatic event. So if disaster strikes or if it's been in your past, why not see a doctor, just to be on the safe side? You don't have to seek psychotherapy because self-help intervention that builds emotional strength will do, but a proper diagnosis by a licensed professional is important, and meds may be helpful.

Medication calms shattered nerves and allows the emotional system to heal. Also,medication can change the way you process information or react to negativity in the long run. It helps to keep your anxieties, fears, and stress levels in check. After a traumatic event (natural disasters, military combat, trauma in the line of duty for first responders, acts of suicide, bullying, harrassment or sexual abuse--we all shoud seek medical attention so that our emotional well-being is assured.

Getting treated for PTSD will also uncover or prevent the onset of depression. Despite what ignorance might say, there is no stigma for getting treatment for PTSD or depression. I wish I had known about these invisible or not so visible emotional disorders.

NOTE TO SELF: Be Aware of Yourself

How often do you participate in each of the following:
• Negative self-talk that undermines you
• Incessant negative thinking that has lasted for two weeks or more
• Self-sabotage (destroying yourself) including quick-fix behavior (drinking,drug abuse, violence, recklessness, arguments, etc.)
• Unrealistic thoughts based on unrealistic assessments of self and others.
• Over-thinking or ruminating over negative events
• Perfectionism that leads to feelings of worthlessness or incompetence.

If your emotions and feeling are out of sync, out of control, or confusing, you may be depressed. Only 8 percent of males and 20 percent of females will develop PTSD after a traumatic event, and only 40 percent of those who experience PTSD ever experience depression, but depression often co-occurs or it follows PTSD. It's important to be self-aware if you experience a traumatic event. Depression creeps in undetected, but it can have devastating effects.

Depression is characterized by incessantly negative thoughts--pumped out by the minute. It makes you feel tired, sad, or extremely insecure, and it robs you of the ability to find pleasure in life. Whereas PTSD can be more easily observed in external or outwardly reckless behavior, depression is invisible. Because of its invisibility and its ability to create hopelessness, depression can be deadly.

Building emotional resilience is the key to assuring emotional well-being. This is a forum for people. You are invited to join in and help build a network of support.
(c) M.D. Johnson (2012)

How to live with integrity--It's not that we don't want to try.

How to live with integrity--It's not that we don't want to try.

It's funny how we spend so much time trying to get educated, get employed, get satisfied that we forget to spend time on how to live with integrity. We blunder from relationship to relationship never quite knowing why they ended or why we fell into them in the first place. It's not that we don't want to try--I think we do, but I don't think many of us know where to start.

Back in the day, such personal things were not discussed, and today due to lack of family time, they aren't really discussed. What is the formula for living and dying with a smile on your face? I don't have the answer, but I know what worked and didn't work for me. Had I died as a child, I would have been too embarrassed to knock on Heaven's door, because I was a failure when it came to helping others. How could I help others when I was too busy trying to survive?

When I was a child, I read books. There were books on etiquette, books on sex, books on boys, books on parents, books on travel, but I never could find a book that helped me understand me. When I found myself in a touchy situation, I had two gears--flight or fight, and I'm no coward. Running was never an option. As a result, I got into more fights than I can remember, but I never lost. One time, no make that two, it was a draw. Well, one time I actually lost but hid the evidence.

Other than that, I was a winner in fights, and a loser in life because I had no goals, no self-awareness, and no personality--at least not at school. I was afraid to show what I really felt for fear of being disliked. I found success, but in comparison to what? I never dreamed I had qualities that might have taken me to the moon. It took years before I understood that everything is not mortal combat, as I once assumed it was.

In the present global economy, the importance of self-awareness is well-known. In fact, it's the key to success, or at least, it's an important aspect of it. Also important is having a empathy for others. According to business leaders, it's not the Intelligence Quotient (IQ) that wins the most points in the professional world, it's the Emotional Quotient (EQ). Emotional intelligence is as old as the hills. We have all probably heard, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." That's a lesson in empathy, one key measure of emotional intelligence. Through the years, it's been called different things, but the point is the same. We need to know ourselves, understand others, and try to "walk a mile in someone else's shoes."

Successful living requires the we have this knowledge even in childhood. From this basic knowledge, we are able to build on our strengths. We can't try to adjust our personality to everyone we meet, and we can't expect others to change according to us. Somewhere in dealing with others, there is a middle ground, a meeting place, or a place to start, but it all begins with self-respect. If people disrespect us, we need to let them know verbally and tactfully how they made us feel. If we're the culprit, we need to accept that no one is perfect and try to understand how someone else might feel.

Respect for self and others is not so hard to do, but nor is it easy. Yet, it's required if we want to achieve success in life. Knowing and respecting our boundaries gives us integrity, and this keeps us from melting into nothingness. You know what they say: "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." Each of us has a purpose for being here. Finding that purpose and acting on it is part of what it takes to live a purposeful life.
(c) M.D. Johnson (2012)