Note to Self: Be aware of Yourself!

 Note to self: Be aware of Yourself!

Break the habit of reactivity—reacting to what others say, do, and perceive. Build yourself a formula for withstanding negativity and going into Default Mode, which is the "What-I-Stand-For/Who-I-Want-To-Be" Mode. It’s not what happens but how we react that makes the difference.

On the night of 9/ll, I was driving around, looking for a back way out of Queens and into Jersey City where my daughter lived. She worked on Manhattan's East Side, changed at the World Trade Center, and transferred to something headed uptown. I babysat her son at my apartment in Queens. That morning we had talked. She was heading to work and would drop by at about six to pick up her son (because she'd been sick, he'd been staying with me for a week). Absorbed in events of the day, I hadn't noticed the time. It was 8:30 pm and my daughter had not arrived, which is why I felt I needed to find her, prayed to find her in her New Jersey apartment. I was overjoyed when she opened the door explaining why she couldn't call, but I mourned those who didn't make it home.

I thought I was trauma-proof, but I guess not. Although no one thing causes PTSD, it often follows traumatic events. And for me, it did. With PTSD, I learned what it means to be confused and hyper-vigilant, and although I didn’t seek medication, medical intervention or get a proper diagnosis, I think I should have. Not knowing the symptoms of PTSD didn't help--shattered nerves, extreme anxiety, nervousness, fear and aggressiveness,(some have nightmares--I didn't).

I never dreamed that for some individuals, facing trauma can have devastating side-effects. An emotional disorder depends on a combination of factors interacting to create conditions for what might be called, a perfect storm. Many individuals need medical intervention after a traumatic event. So if disaster strikes or if it's been in your past, why not see a doctor, just to be on the safe side? You don't have to seek psychotherapy because self-help intervention that builds emotional strength will do, but a proper diagnosis by a licensed professional is important, and meds may be helpful.

Medication calms shattered nerves and allows the emotional system to heal. Also,medication can change the way you process information or react to negativity in the long run. It helps to keep your anxieties, fears, and stress levels in check. After a traumatic event (natural disasters, military combat, trauma in the line of duty for first responders, acts of suicide, bullying, harrassment or sexual abuse--we all shoud seek medical attention so that our emotional well-being is assured.

Getting treated for PTSD will also uncover or prevent the onset of depression. Despite what ignorance might say, there is no stigma for getting treatment for PTSD or depression. I wish I had known about these invisible or not so visible emotional disorders.

NOTE TO SELF: Be Aware of Yourself

How often do you participate in each of the following:
• Negative self-talk that undermines you
• Incessant negative thinking that has lasted for two weeks or more
• Self-sabotage (destroying yourself) including quick-fix behavior (drinking,drug abuse, violence, recklessness, arguments, etc.)
• Unrealistic thoughts based on unrealistic assessments of self and others.
• Over-thinking or ruminating over negative events
• Perfectionism that leads to feelings of worthlessness or incompetence.

If your emotions and feeling are out of sync, out of control, or confusing, you may be depressed. Only 8 percent of males and 20 percent of females will develop PTSD after a traumatic event, and only 40 percent of those who experience PTSD ever experience depression, but depression often co-occurs or it follows PTSD. It's important to be self-aware if you experience a traumatic event. Depression creeps in undetected, but it can have devastating effects.

Depression is characterized by incessantly negative thoughts--pumped out by the minute. It makes you feel tired, sad, or extremely insecure, and it robs you of the ability to find pleasure in life. Whereas PTSD can be more easily observed in external or outwardly reckless behavior, depression is invisible. Because of its invisibility and its ability to create hopelessness, depression can be deadly.

Building emotional resilience is the key to assuring emotional well-being. This is a forum for people. You are invited to join in and help build a network of support.
(c) M.D. Johnson (2012)