Workplace Bullying is a silent epidemic that is expressed in many different ways, but one thing is certain; it involves a toxic, negative, or psychologically abusive relationship between persons of unequal status. The most reliable way to recognize a bully is by noticing how you feel when you're around someone because all too often, the bullying is very subtle, but the feelings created are quite real because they are strategically focused on diminishing a target's self-esteem.
A "target" is the name used to identify a person who is singled out for harassment, bullying, ostracism, or mistreatment designed to destroy self esteem. The primary tactics used by a bully are isolation and undermining self confidence. By undermining someones credentials and credibility, the bully creates feelings of worthlessness which causes other co-workers to disassociate themselves from the targeted individual, leaving the targeted individual alone and vulnerable to even more abuse. Usually, the abuse also involves including others in the act of victimization. Whether the targeted individual did something to offend the perpetrator or whether the targeted individual displayed a weakness in character that the bully is able to exploit makes little difference. Bullying is a secret form of harassment that has devastating consequences. It is a targeted power-play involving someone seen as powerful against someone weaker.
If you feel bullied, take a look at what you might be doing to create the antagonistic feelings directed against you. If possible, offer an apology. Sometimes this ends the harassment, but all too often, the bully feels threatened or undermined due to personal insecurities and undermining someone less powerful boosts their sense of control. Such bullies are experienced and adept at hiding their insecurities and blaming their victims, causing others to rally support. Also, to gain support from others, they are masters at spreading rumors and co-opting others for assistance, making sure the target has nowhere to turn and no one to confide in.
The best defense against workplace bullying is a good offense, which includes strong self-esteem, assertiveness when dealing with coworkers, and a network of support within the organization as well as outside of the workplace. Finding a mentor very early on is crucial, whether male or female. Just make sure the mentor you seek has your interests in mind. Also, keep up-to-date records of each occurrence of bullying. As you face situations in which you feel bullied, write them down, and only express feelings or share evidence with one or two persons you know you can trust.
Bullying has become an epidemic, but it is usually unrecognized by supervisors and business managers. It is a crime against humanity that has no legal ramifications in most states, but it has serious consequences--job loss, unhappiness, illness, and even suicide. Much attention is paid to victimization in schools but very little is being done to address workplace harassment and bullying, which is just as lethal. We all should become more aware of workplace bullying, but until we all learn to recognize the symptoms of bullying and feel confident enough to report it, bullying will remain a private, individualized matter.
If you feel targeted for harassment and bullying, you must begin to build a case that can be reported to higher supervisors or managers. It is up to you to advocate for yourself, educate yourself, and take steps to join organizations and surround yourself with a network of people who can support you and serve as character witnesses in case you wish to confront a bully through the legal system. Never confront a bully or one of its constituents on your own. Take the issue up with superiors and go as far as you need to go, but be ready to provide names, dates, situations, feelings and outcomes in your defense. Keep all evidence in a safe place until it can be used, and expect a battle. But it is a battle that can be won.
Workplace bullying is a silent epidemic that is expressed in many different ways, but one thing is certain; you can stop workplace bullying directed at you or if not personally bullied, you can opt out of participating in offensive behavior against targets of bullying. Whether the bullying is perpetrated by a coworker or supervisor, if bullying cannot be avoided in the first place, it still can be stopped. It's your right to be respected, not victimized, but keep in mind, the best defense is a good, emotionally competent and assertive offense.
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