I could plant a garden in the wintertime.

Happy New Year, 2014!

So many possible resolutions, so little time! What difference can I make? What could I change?

·        I could lose weight (but I like hotdogs & chips and totally hate gyms).

·        I could adopt or foster a child (but my patience is short).

·        I could volunteer at a homeless shelter, a pet shelter, or somewhere else but...or

·        I could plant a garden in the wintertime.

Yes, that’s what I’ll do.

Cherish the Good Times and "Happy Holidays!"

          My brother didn’t know, but he helped to raise a Vulcan, a tiny shemale who had no sense of self nor well-being, nor any ego to speak of, just a drive toward perfection, the only reason she was born human in the first place. I often try but fail to imagine what life would be without him. He told me stories and taught me most of the holiday songs I know. His sense of imagination made the world seem bigger and more beautiful, especially at Christmas time.

I grew up in a house, a house that could have been anywhere in the world. It was surrounded by vegetation—fruit trees, a pecan tree, rose bushes, honeysuckle, and all types of flowers growing wild along the fence or planted in flower beds. In the middle of the yard was a concrete fish pond filled with bobble-headed goldfish. It was a large, nine-room house that we could run around and around without stopping. It had been built especially for the developer and his family, and when my father took us to see it for the first time, he was brimming with pride. My father was proud and strong, worked two jobs to keep us well-dressed and fed. Sometimes, we huddled in the big arm chair long past bedtime until he arrived from his second job,white flour sprinkled on the toes of his boots and wearing the biggest smile in the entire world. Opening the door and seeing our faces, no matter how tired he might have been, he always smiled and said, “How’re my kiddies.” Then he'd sit in the big armchair, sit the four of us on his lap while the little ones slept, and sing us a song.

Christmas was a big deal at our house. My mother played Christmas music and watched us decorate the tree. She baked pound cakes, apple pies, pecan pies, and the best sweet potato pie in the world. She was so happy being a wife and mother of six children, and we were proud members of her tribe. The two eldest took turns reading, ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas before we were shushed and sent to bed. It wasn’t easy falling asleep, but we believed Santa would be delighted to discover cookies and eggnog waiting as he delivered the toys we had prayed and begged for.

The next morning, we were probably the happiest children in the world, covering our mouths to hold back the squeals after seeing so many toys piled around the tree, whispering while our parents slept and waiting until their bedroom door creaked open. It was a beautiful sight, the house warmed, Christmas lights glistening, the oak wood floors shining, and the smell of pine everywhere. On the dining table was a gigantic bowl of fruit, which we could eat after breakfast. At Christmas time, we were allowed to each as many oranges, apples, gum drops and candy canes as we wished, but not before breakfast, so by the time breakfast was served, we were ravenous. Our father was a professional chef, but he couldn’t out-do my mother’s country cooking. Still, it was nice to taste his cooking on this special day.

After breakfast, dishes were washed while mom and dad sat around the tree and whispered. Then the music began and one by one, names were called to claim what Santa had left. It was an all-day affair and clearly the best day of the year. Afterwards, we built doll houses, adjusted skates, painted model cars, and hummed Christmas carols under the watchful eyes of my parents and big brother. I didn’t know much at the time, except this was the happiest day of the year. So to all of you, cherish the good times and Happy Holidays!

December is good for emotional health.

The holiday season is a time to be joyful, but given our different circumstances, this might seem impossible for some of us. It's not easy watching neighbors put up holiday decorations that we cannot afford, not easy watching friends, family and neighbors stepping out to enjoy an evening stroll through streets adorned with lighted trees and window decorations, and certainly not easy knowing we will have to work on the very day other families are laughing, opening presents, and enjoying the best of both--extra time and extra money. Yet, despite the lack of finances and the blues that we sometimes feel during the Christmas holiday season, studies show that we remain hopeful, inspired, and less prone to negative thinking than during other times of the year. It seems December is good for our emotional health.

Past studies have supported what the CDC calls a "myth," when it comes to increased suicide rates during the holiday season. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), suicides decrease in December. The "CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics reports that the suicide rate is, in fact, the lowest in December. The rate peaks in the spring and the fall."

Recent studies dispel the myth that the suicide rate increases during the holiday season. Suicides are committed during the holiday season, but people who commit suicide do so for a variety of reasons. With 36,000 people taking their own lives every year, suicide remains the 10th leading cause of death for all Americans. According to the Centers for Disease Control, 374,000 individuals are treated for self-inflicted wounds every year. With this in mind, the CDC is studying ways to "protect" people from suicide, but there are simple things that we all can do.

Because December is a time for giving and thinking of others, it only makes sense that suicides are decreased during this month. Doing for others naturally boosts our happiness quotient. For friends and family showing signs of depression or sadness during this holiday season, there is something we can do. We can help someone create their own happiness, and as we lift their spirits, we lift our own. We are able to offer gifts to others and to ourselves all at the same time. Simple activities that spread happiness include:

• Invite friends, family or neighbors to a family or community event. 
• Send holiday greeting cards via snail mail. 
• Volunteer and invite someone to join in.
• Deliver canned goods to a food bank or community shelter.
• Smile and say, "Happy Holidays"!

These simple gestures of good will can make all the difference between someone experiencing sadness or happiness during the holiday season. December is especially good for the emotional health of self and others.
(Excerpts from http://www.cdc.gov-"Holiday Suicides: Fact or Myth"). 

7 Aspects of Conversation at Holiday Parties

Are you invited to a holiday office party and fear your awkwardness will be revealed? Do you sometimes wonder what to say to colleagues, co-workers, and lesser-knowns at a festive gathering? Take comfort in knowing that you are not alone, but the more relaxed you are without being drunk or drugged, the less awkward you'll feel. Think positive, plan to enjoy yourself but always remember you are not alone. People watching is always an aspect of holiday gatherings, and when it comes to knowing how to behave, moderation is the key to success.

I don't remember where I borrowed the helpful hints, but I've listed them below.

7 Aspects of holiday conversation

1.Don’t drink before you arrive.

2. Wear something you feel comfortable in.

3. Walk in like you’re appreciated and expected.

4. Observe who’s doing what.

5. Get started by casually greeting a few people.

6. If you feel thirsty, get something to drink.

7. Mingle and start a conversation according to the following:

·        Mention something about the area or environment.

·        Introduce yourself and offer something about you.

·        Mention a trending topic.

·        If it’s not familiar to someone, think of another topic.

·        Pay attention to what’s happening in the room but   mostly listen and pay attention to the conversation.

·        Expand upon the topic of interest. Keep it short.

·        Before moving away, provide some forewarning by highlighting something that was said and by    establishing a future contact.

Parties are designed for celebration, and they're supposed to

be fun, but it's always a good idea to be on your best behavior

no matter how comfortable you feel. Respect everyone, not

just those who seem important. You never know who's 

listening and you never know whom you might be talking to. 

Other than that, eat, drink and be merry at your party, and 

always practice moderation.

Stuff happens. Don't let a setback devastate you.

When working to achieve goals, we are often told to expect the best but plan for the worst. That way, when we experience a setback, we are not devastated. But setbacks happen. According to the free online dictionary, a setback is "an unfortunate happening that hinders or impedes; something that is thwarting or frustrating." Setbacks can be hazardous to our health and unless we can quickly rebound from them, they have the ability to sabotage our progress and cause us to give up.

 

Setbacks create negative feelings and lead to negative self-assessments, and if negative thoughts or feelings of frustration are not acknowledged and managed, setbacks can diminish self-esteem and lead to feelings of hopelessness. When faced with a setback or when feeling extremely discouraged, the best thing to do is reconnect with the emotion that caused the setback. Find a quiet place where you can examine your feelings with no interruptions. Search for the specific emotion that caused the setback and name it--sadness, anger, embarrassment, etc. After the emotion is targeted and named, reenact the situation that caused it and allow yourself to experience the emotion fully, even if it leads to tears. If unable to discover the emotion, free-write about what happened and how the situation is affecting you. Write for three to five minutes without focusing on correct grammar, spelling, or writing skills. As you write, the emotion should be uncovered. 

 

After discovering and experiencing the emotion that caused your setback, find ways to replace it with a more positive emotion, keeping in mind the following:

• There is usually a lesson to be learned from a setback.

• A negative experience is seven times stronger than a positive one, so replace the negative emotion with three positive ones.

• List three of your most positive achievements.

• List three of your most valuable or desirable assets.

• Don't overdo it. If at first you don't succeed, try again tomorrow.

• Separate yourself from the setback because you are not your setback. 

• Remember, stuff happens

   

If all else fails, try connecting to a most positive moment in your life. Connect to a positive experience in the past and recall the way this positive moment made you feel. Stay connected to this positive feeling until you are able to move beyond the negative situation that caused the setback. Also, try being your own best friend. What might you say to your very best friend who was experiencing a major setback? If all else fails, find inspiration in great music!

Setbacks should be expected, but setback are hazardous to your health only if you allow it. There are many strategies that can be used to combat negative emotions related to a setback, but it's important to keep in mind, "To err, is human" and as the song goes, "that's life." http://youtu.be/90wUItXn62s

On Veteran's Day, the least I can do is smile and say, "Thank you, for serving our country."

Veteran's Day is today and many of us have lost veterans, but Veteran's Day is not a day to mourn. It's a day to celebrate those who served our country. On Veteran's Day, cities all over the world offer public ceremonies in honor of our veterans. Sitting through one of these events helps us appreciate the sacrifices our veterans made and continue to make for our country. If you wish to know more about Veteran's Day activities in your city, contact your local Chamber of Commerce or just do a quick search on the Internet. Your attendance is never required at one of these events, but if you attend once, you'll do it again and again.


I attended my first Veteran's Day ceremony just two years ago and still wonder why I didn't attend such an event much earlier. I have a brother who is a veteran, a nephew who is a veteran, my father was a veteran, most of my uncles were veterans, and I lost a brother in the military two months after his 21st birthday. He was a Vietnam veteran. As for me,  I signed up to serve in the Air Force, but when I was informed I needed to legally transfer custody of my two children, I walked out of the recruiter's office without signing on the dotted line. I often dream of the opportunity I lost, but I have volunteered for Americorps, the national corporation of community service, and I volunteer to assist with community events whenever possible.

If our veterans can give their lives for this country, suffer emotional and physical disabilities that last a lifetime, sacrifice family, and endure unimaginable hardships for the sake of this country and the world, the least I can do is honor them on this special day. If I can attend a Veteran's Day ceremony, I will, but the least I can do is smile and say, "Hello. Thank you for serving our country."

History of Veterans Day

World War I – known at the time as “The Great War” - officially ended when the Treaty of Versailles was signed on June 28, 1919, in the Palace of Versailles outside the town of Versailles, France. However, fighting ceased seven months earlier when an armistice, or temporary cessation of hostilities, between the Allied nations and Germany went into effect on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. For that reason, November 11, 1918, is generally regarded as the end of “the war to end all wars.”

Soldiers of the 353rd Infantry near a church at Stenay, Meuse in France, wait for the end of hostilities. This photo was taken at 10:58 a.m., on November 11, 1918, two minutes before the armistice ending World War I went into effect

In November 1919, President Wilson proclaimed November 11 as the first commemoration of Armistice Day with the following words: "To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations…"

The information above was retrieved from http://www.va.gov. Consult the website to read the article in its entirety. http://www.va.gov/opa/vetsday/vetdayhistory.asp

7 Ways to Stop Negative Self-talk and Live Yourself a Life!

7 Ways to Stop Negative Self-talk and Live Yourself a Life!

Each day we are bombarded with information that creates fear and uncertainty. Each day, we face and overcome negative experiences that lead to negative self-talk which serves to diminish self-esteem and fuel emotional disorders like depression. Living day to day can be difficult when we seem to have so little control over what happens to us. But it is possible to protect our emotional system and stop negative self-talk that threatens our quality of life, even before it begins.

If we could live in the moment, paying attention to the little things, our lives would be happy and organized. With a few rules, daily practice, and a sense of forgiveness, we can achieve happiness and live a purposeful life. Seven practices for living a purposeful life include:

1. Fulfill basic needs.

We are born with basic needs that must be fulfilled, but we also have wants. Infomercials, advertisements, and commercials keep us wishing and working for more than we need. Keeping up with others is never easy, but this is something we can control. Decide what you need and fulfill those needs. The rest is unnecessary. Excessive lifestyles do not guarantee happiness, and in many instances, extravagant living destroys happiness. Establish a boundary between what you want and what you need.

2. Get organized.

Keeping everything in its place keeps your mind free to solve problems or to be more creative. Nothing spoils creativity or destroys peace of mind like unfinished business. Clutter reminds you of unfinished business. Take time to organize your belongings and schedule activities for the day.

3. Complete one thing at a time.

Make housework a form of meditation and breathe life into whatever you touch.  Schedule chores like you schedule your work day, and complete first things first, one step at a time. Each day, plan to complete only one chore but no more than two.

4. Live one day at a time.

Tomorrow is not promised, so live your best life today. Complete chores and daily activities with a sense of mindfulness, paying attention to details such as color, texture, sounds, smells, and taste. Walk through the world like you belong exactly where you are at any given moment in time, and know that you have a reason for being here on this day.

5. Smile and acknowledge others.

The shortest distance between two people is a smile, something which is meant to give away. Smiling at others causes them to spontaneously smile at you. Your smile can only be observed by others or by looking into a mirror, and who has a mirror to spare? Smiling serves a purpose that has nothing to do with you.

6. Take time to reflect and connect with your emotions. 

People who stifle their feelings get stuffed up. Sit, reflect on your experiences during the day, and express your emotions. All

experiences can become learning opportunities if you look hard enough. Write about experiences and how they made you feel. Stay in touch with your emotions through reflecting and writing.

 

7. Find gratitude and forgive your mistakes.

Find someone you can talk to during the day or at the end of each day, even if it’s your diary or writing journal. Express yourself, tap into your emotions, and find something to be grateful for at the end of each day.

You are human, so mistakes will happen, but at the end of each day, remember to forgive your mistakes. 
                                       - Emme H. Johnson