Stuff happens. Don't let a setback devastate you.

When working to achieve goals, we are often told to expect the best but plan for the worst. That way, when we experience a setback, we are not devastated. But setbacks happen. According to the free online dictionary, a setback is "an unfortunate happening that hinders or impedes; something that is thwarting or frustrating." Setbacks can be hazardous to our health and unless we can quickly rebound from them, they have the ability to sabotage our progress and cause us to give up.

 

Setbacks create negative feelings and lead to negative self-assessments, and if negative thoughts or feelings of frustration are not acknowledged and managed, setbacks can diminish self-esteem and lead to feelings of hopelessness. When faced with a setback or when feeling extremely discouraged, the best thing to do is reconnect with the emotion that caused the setback. Find a quiet place where you can examine your feelings with no interruptions. Search for the specific emotion that caused the setback and name it--sadness, anger, embarrassment, etc. After the emotion is targeted and named, reenact the situation that caused it and allow yourself to experience the emotion fully, even if it leads to tears. If unable to discover the emotion, free-write about what happened and how the situation is affecting you. Write for three to five minutes without focusing on correct grammar, spelling, or writing skills. As you write, the emotion should be uncovered. 

 

After discovering and experiencing the emotion that caused your setback, find ways to replace it with a more positive emotion, keeping in mind the following:

• There is usually a lesson to be learned from a setback.

• A negative experience is seven times stronger than a positive one, so replace the negative emotion with three positive ones.

• List three of your most positive achievements.

• List three of your most valuable or desirable assets.

• Don't overdo it. If at first you don't succeed, try again tomorrow.

• Separate yourself from the setback because you are not your setback. 

• Remember, stuff happens

   

If all else fails, try connecting to a most positive moment in your life. Connect to a positive experience in the past and recall the way this positive moment made you feel. Stay connected to this positive feeling until you are able to move beyond the negative situation that caused the setback. Also, try being your own best friend. What might you say to your very best friend who was experiencing a major setback? If all else fails, find inspiration in great music!

Setbacks should be expected, but setback are hazardous to your health only if you allow it. There are many strategies that can be used to combat negative emotions related to a setback, but it's important to keep in mind, "To err, is human" and as the song goes, "that's life." http://youtu.be/90wUItXn62s