Does anyone care about families of our fallen heroes? Gold Star Mothers and Families proclamation recognizes them.

When a soldier dies, it's difficult to explain the loss. First there was absence and suddenly, they were permanently gone.  Maybe it's the element of surprise that factors into the loss. Maybe you never had a chance to say, goodbye. You go through the usual process of grieving: friends, family; military funeral with the flag-draped casket and processional; the 21-gun salute; the bugle call; the flag folding (which is elaborate). You sit in dismay and watch:

"After the flag as been folded, the person who did the folding, known as the "folder", stands before the person who held the head of the flag during the folding, known as the "presenter". The folder holds the flag on end so that the corner of the folded flag can be inspected at eye level by the presenter. The presenter may then straighten the corner if necessary. The folder then turns the flag 180 degrees so the presenter can inspect the opposite corner and straighten it if necessary. Lastly, the folder turns the flag flat and places it in the hands of the presenter. The presenter then holds the flag with center corner towards the folder so the folder can inspect and straighten that corner if necessary. All done, the folder is dismissed and the presenter presents the flag to the chosen family member" ( A. Robert Cook).

You receive the flag thankfully, as though it is the fallen loved one. After the funeral you walk away, your emotions askew, and you ask why? You feel there is no one who understands what it really means to lose someone who fought for their country and died in the process. You might even forget to mourn as you struggle to make the pieces of your life fit. You often don't detect physical or emotional distress that develops due to the loss. 

So many families of veterans feel they are alone, and this post is written to share what might have helped my family after my brother died at age 21 during his time in the United States Army. His absence was never discussed within our family, and we mourned separately, including our mother. A few years ago, I finally cried.

There are people who understand. President Obama made the traditional Proclamation of Gold Star Mothers and Families on September 27, 2015, recognizing the mothers and families of our fallen heroes. Inquire if there is a group of Gold Star Mothers and Families in your community. If not, inquire about starting one.

Also visit: http://go.wh.gov/kUxd5o.