Was Steve Harvey overwhelmed by the job of promoting sexuality or distracted by the youth, sexiness and novelty of the contestants?

Sex sells, but this is because sex is advertised more in the media than anywhere else. People hired to deliver the news are delivering notions of sexuality and sexiness whenever they get the chance but ironically, those speaking on the topic are the least sexy. They present video clips or snippets of information that take us away from the mundane. As long as our attention is focused on something new, we can be manipulated into believing, almost against our will, and buying whatever is advertised.

We need to stop the vicarious thrill-seeking and put the sexy back in sex, making it something more subtle and special, but as long as people watch advertisements and video clips like they care, ignoring someone sitting next to them in the living room, and as long as sexual innuendo sells, we will be manipulated into vicarious sexual imaginings based on television, magazines, and the media hype, feeling fulfilled by the concept of novelty and thrills.

Statistics show we are less interested in personal relationships for a multitude of reasons, but one of the reasons is that the brain craves new and different things. If something becomes too commonplace, the brain loses interest. People are attracted to difference because the brain seeks novelty. When you factor in our desire for novelty and our boredom with sexuality because it has become too accessible and ordinary, what is the expected outcome?  Cheating is the first thing that comes to mind. It's different, it's new, it's sexual, and the risky nature of it all seems very attractive.

I wish the media hype around sexuality would just go away. I watched and listened to Steve Harvey announcing the Miss Universe contestants in the swim suit competition on that memorable night. During the show, he made many references to sexuality despite the fact that the references were from a male perspective and the audience seemed to include many women.  It's no wonder he committed such a faux pas. He was clearly distracted by all of the beauty, youth, sexiness, and difference. I honestly think he was overwhelmed by so many beautiful women and with so little chance to experience their novelty. 

I don't think Steve Harvey was the only one overwhelmed by the diverse collection of beautiful, sexy women. He exposed his innermost thoughts when he named Miss Colombia the winner. She must have been his subliminal choice. Whether the media moguls asked him to talk up the sexiness we will never know, but I think he got caught up in the vicarious thrills. If we stop buying the sex, the media moguls wouldn't hype it up, but then there is the brain's desire for novelty.

Story-telling can make a difference. One of my favorite stories is found in a poem.

I have learned that story-telling  can make a difference, whether listening to someones story or telling stories of our own.  If world history was told in stories rather than as a list of events, wouldn't it be more interesting? 

One of my favorite stories is found in a poem. The setting of the poems is a wooded path in the wintertime. Maybe the snow is just starting to fall or maybe it continues to fall. The speaker is wistful but committed to promises already made. For a moment, the speaker is thinking about what he is doing and what he might like to do. There are two characters in the story and one seems to be questioning the other's actions. Then comes the moment of truth.

The following poem is memorable because it is musical, it is relevant to anyone, and it contains part of a story. Most important of all, its message is inspiring. I hope you enjoy reading the poem as much as I do, especially in the wintertime. Happy Holidays!

"Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening"
by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. 

"Ashes to ashes, we all fall down." The trick is to stand up, wise up, stop self-medicating on alcohol, heroin, or other drugs & deal with reality.

"Ashes to ashes, we all fall down." In other words, we all have up's and down's. Challenges and changes in our lives should be expected, but if we want emotionally balanced lives, we must adapt and go with the flow or we should seek help. Alcohol or drugs is not the final answer. 

If you feel something is not quite right, it probably isn't. First, keep a record of your thoughts and feelings. Then try to get help. Don't try to do everything on your own. You are a communal being, and your emotional well-being depends on how you take care of yourself and how you reach out to others when the going gets rough. The key to a balanced life is to become aware of your thoughts and feelings, find ways to to manage negativity, and to ask for help. Forget about trying to be positive, half-medicated all of the time. Just stop the madness and talk to someone.

Keeping track of negative emotions can seem unnatural. We are told to think positive, stand strong, and deny our negative emotions, but this is a mistake because  emotions must be expressed. In fact, in one way or another, they will be expressed--outwardly or inwardly. So your first response to strange emotional changes is to stop, take note of your thoughts and feelings, and finally, tell someone you can trust, even if it means dialing 800-273-TALK.

Because there is a strong interest in what is called, "positive psychology," nobody really wants to hear that someone they know is unhappy. It seems they fear your negativity is contagious, especially if it lingers for more than a week or two, but if you're thinking negative thoughts for more than two weeks, something is absolutely wrong. In fact, you might be depressed.

Instead of self-medicating with alcohol or drugs, start writing. Also, start keeping a record of your thoughts and feelings. Simply take out a pen and pad and write 

(c)MDHJohnson, 2013

your thoughts down on a daily basis. Keeping a record of how you feel and think for two or three weeks will be useful if you need to see your family doctor or if you are referred to a mental health professional. 

Not every negative situation is a major problem, especially if you catch it in time. However, you are the guardian of your emotional state, so if you feel strange but can't pinpoint the problem, start keeping track of how you feel.  Do not get lost in the conglomeration of thoughts and feelings and do not be confused by symptoms you never encountered before. Just write down your thoughts and feelings a few times during the day. 

If your thoughts and feelings are out of control, you might have an "invisible illness" or emotional disorder that can be uncovered and easily treated by a mental health professional or even on your own. It's as simple as that. We all experience "ups and downs." The question is, if your emotional upheaval lasts longer than two weeks, what are you going to do about it?

(c) MDHJohnson

Does anyone care about families of our fallen heroes? Gold Star Mothers and Families proclamation recognizes them.

When a soldier dies, it's difficult to explain the loss. First there was absence and suddenly, they were permanently gone.  Maybe it's the element of surprise that factors into the loss. Maybe you never had a chance to say, goodbye. You go through the usual process of grieving: friends, family; military funeral with the flag-draped casket and processional; the 21-gun salute; the bugle call; the flag folding (which is elaborate). You sit in dismay and watch:

"After the flag as been folded, the person who did the folding, known as the "folder", stands before the person who held the head of the flag during the folding, known as the "presenter". The folder holds the flag on end so that the corner of the folded flag can be inspected at eye level by the presenter. The presenter may then straighten the corner if necessary. The folder then turns the flag 180 degrees so the presenter can inspect the opposite corner and straighten it if necessary. Lastly, the folder turns the flag flat and places it in the hands of the presenter. The presenter then holds the flag with center corner towards the folder so the folder can inspect and straighten that corner if necessary. All done, the folder is dismissed and the presenter presents the flag to the chosen family member" ( A. Robert Cook).

You receive the flag thankfully, as though it is the fallen loved one. After the funeral you walk away, your emotions askew, and you ask why? You feel there is no one who understands what it really means to lose someone who fought for their country and died in the process. You might even forget to mourn as you struggle to make the pieces of your life fit. You often don't detect physical or emotional distress that develops due to the loss. 

So many families of veterans feel they are alone, and this post is written to share what might have helped my family after my brother died at age 21 during his time in the United States Army. His absence was never discussed within our family, and we mourned separately, including our mother. A few years ago, I finally cried.

There are people who understand. President Obama made the traditional Proclamation of Gold Star Mothers and Families on September 27, 2015, recognizing the mothers and families of our fallen heroes. Inquire if there is a group of Gold Star Mothers and Families in your community. If not, inquire about starting one.

Also visit: http://go.wh.gov/kUxd5o.