Sometimes we dump, sometimes we get dumped on.

The natural flow responds to change, which keeps our universe in balance, but sometimes when we stop this natural flow and insist on standing on principle or seeking a solution, we stop the natural flow.

We all could use a bit of tweaking from time to time. We all have something we could improve, and standing on what's familiar can stunt our emotional growth. Sometimes, we feel uncomfortable in situations that seem pointless or boundless. When this happens, we might try to find solutions to someone else's problem instead of simply listening. For example, I can be impatient with myself and others. Instead of listening to whatever it is, I'll rely on circumstantial evidence and make judgments based on evidence alone. Then, I'll offer a solution to take the sufferer out of the misery. When it comes to listening, I sometimes find myself becoming impatient with what might be considered repetitious, self-defeating, self-sabotaging behavior. Instead of empathizing with the individual who expresses emotions over and over, I'll offer a solution or two, even though I fully understand the rule, "Listen more than you talk."

In 2013, I plan to change a few things about myself. I will remind myself that I don't have to fix things, though I'm accustomed to doing exactly that. Not fixing things is outside of my comfort zone, but life is change and sometimes, fixing things can slow the process.  I know it's important to take time to simply listen without passing judgment or fixing something.

Listening means letting someone express whatever they must in the best way they can, without feeling the need to do something about someone else's problem. It requires a sense of acceptance which allows us to go with the flow. There an important rule, however. While making sure to listen, it's important to take care of ourselves, understanding and respecting our emotional boundaries. If a topic makes us uncomfortable, we don't have to listen beyond our personal level of tolerance and become a victims of circumstance. We can determine how long to allow ourselves to be "dumped on," so to speak.

Sometimes we dump, and sometimes we get dumped on. It's the law checks and balances (if there ever was a law). I'm slowly learning that there are no rules when it's time for dumping, except to go with the natural flow and take care of ourselves. Sometimes, people don't want solutions. They just need to express themselves. We might know this, at least I do. Still, listening without offering solutions is a work in progress. But that's what a New Year's resolution is all about--change.