It's about how we react, not about what happens to us.

According to most who write about the effects of trauma, trama is a personal experience. A devastating event does not affect us equally. While I might become traumatized and suffer PTSD or depression someone else might not. It all depends on our coping resources.It’s not what happens but how we react that makes the difference. How we react depends upon our emotional resilience. As a child, I was physically strong and had stamina when it came to setting and accomplishing goals. Yet, I had very little self-awareness and lacked emotional skills to cope with bullying, neglect or negativity from others. My reactions were simple: fight or take flight. I usually had to fight. I was a quiet but nervous child. I think I must have suffered PTSD throughout my childhood due to bullying and violence, but I managed to cope. However, after a traumatic event or two, I began to feel diminished and overly stressed. After suffering PTSD, I know what it means to be overly-reactive, overly sensitive, and hyper-vigilant, and though I did not continue medication or explore options in medical treatment after being diagnosed, I think medication might have helped. Medication can change the way you process information or relieve the effects of trauma short-term, but medication is not a long term solution. Medication helps to keep your anxieties, fears, and stress levels in check until your frayed nerves can heal. After nerves and negative thoughts are in check, the solution is to build emotional competence and strengthen social networks. According the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the best solution begins with meds but includes opportunities for expressing feelings (talk therapy) which could be with a therapist or with self-help groups or techniques. Following, is a list of activities that can help build emotional compentence whether one suffers an emotional disorder or not. 10 Steps to Building Emotional Resilience 1. Grow your empathy for others and their situations. 2. Build supportive networks and avoid toxic relationships. 3. Travel (solo or with non-toxic individuals). 4. Build self-awareness and improve social skills. 5. Don’t internalize or personalize negative workplace issues. 6. Take time to connect with your positive spiritual strength. 7. Volunteer once a month and help change the world. 8. Celebrate and appreciate living one day at a time. 9. Stop negative self talk when it happens--every time. 10. Manage your emotions and take time to make appropriate responses.