You have a right to change your mind (even if you're the only one who really knows why you quit).

We lost Della Reese on November 19, 2017, an actor who defied stereotypes and set new examples of what's possible for black female singers and actors. "Don't You Know?" is an example of success in changing perceptions about what's possible. This is something you do because you feel you must and nothing can get in your way.

Who said it can't be done, just because it hasn't been done? Where there is a will, there is a way. Sometimes, you think you want to achieve something but after struggling against the odds or against negative attitudes, you realize you're glad somebody stopped you from doing something you didn't really want to do. However, in actuality, you allowed your plan to be destroyed before the hard work ever began.

You can fool others, but you can't fool yourself. You know it's impossible to stop someone who lets nothing get in the way of success. So be true to yourself; you have a right to change your mind (even if you're the only one who really knows why you quit). Now, what do you think Della Reese faced and overcame?
"Don't You Know?"("Puccini") https://youtu.be/N86nxxZW6UY  via @YouTube

Losing one's temper due to anger is only a cover-up.

Losing one's temper due to anger is only a cover-up. Because we don't like to feel vulnerable, we default to what seems a more aggressive emotional response, like anger. Are you hiding your true emotions behind anger? 


If you want to know what you're hiding when you become angry,  stop yourself as soon as you start to feel flushed and flustered, before you've had time to strike back. If you ever wonder why you get so mad at certain times or around certain people, check your feelings and see what shows up—intimidation, fear, rejection, belittlement? It's good if you can notice the feeling but it's much better if you can also name and target the emotion.


When I was in elementary school, I fought a lot because I was bullied. I felt sadness, but my first outward response was anger. Internally, I was feeling something I was too embarrassed to admit. It was only in high school that I learned to hide the anger, at least for a minute or two so as to discover what was really making me respond. It took years for me to stop responding to insults and injury with anger, but I finally grasped the concept. It's not the outward emotion of anger that we need to control. The control must start with recognizing and addressing the inward feelings, those we hide so no one is the wiser about our vulnerabilities. These feelings are attached to emotions that must be named before they can be conquered.


So the next time you feel anger, ask yourself if the incident or situation is worthy of anger, upsetting you for longer than necessary, or is there another emotion you need to address?

Difficulties I face and overcome are signals that I am adapting to change.

When you travel outside of your country of origin, you understand people, places, and things a lot better.  You see how we are connected in the universal scheme of things, and you understand the needs of humanity--compassion, forgiveness, and love. My perspective has changed over the years, from trying to change the world to allowing the world to change me. As a result, I feel less alienated, less differentiated, and less on my own. I feel that no matter what I am experiencing, I am not alone, and the difficulties I face and overcome are signals that I am adapting to change and one day, I will truly overcome and be the person I was meant to be.

"No pain, no gain" is not a cliche'. Hardships can be a gift.

"No pain, no gain" is not a cliche'. It's a commentary on life and attempts to explain why suffering exists. When we face negative circumstances, we must overcome or endure. In the process of suffering and learning to overcome, we build emotional, physical or spiritual strength. But the concept of suffering as something positive is not easy to accept. No one wants to suffer, especially when the suffering never seems to end. When pain and suffering never stop, these words seem lame and useless. But ancient writings and scriptures reinforce the importance of suffering.

First, there is the example of winter, how it seems so dead and barren, but in order to prepare the natural world for the new season known as spring, the harsh weather is needed to protect the flowers and trees. The colder the winter, the more bountiful the fruit on trees and the more colorful the flowers when they bloom in the spring. Henry David Thoreau explains this very well in his book, Walden.

Everyone has heard the words, "diamond in the rough," meaning that something has potential, and with the proper fine-tuning and shaping, it can become a precious gem. To make a diamond requires the right environment, great pressure, extremely high temperatures and a little bit of luck.

Extreme pressure transforms elements into things which are not only useful but also, quite beautiful. Without unbearable conditions, extreme pressures and painful circumstances, life would be ordinary, substances would be ordinary, and people would be ordinary.Through trials and tribulations, we learn deep meaning in life. Not only that, we learn to find joy in the little things and appreciate life as it comes each day.

It's natural to complain sometimes, but the next time you find yourself complaining about your level of suffering, think again. Your suffering means you are meant for greater things. You only need to find meaning in your experiences and determine what lesson you need to learn. Eventually, you will find joy inside of pain and you will truly appreciate the words, "No pain, no gain" because hardships can be a gift.

Writing is fundamental to positive thinking and overall physical and emotional health because the mind and body work together

Writing is fundamental to positive thinking and overall physical and emotional health because it allows the mind and body to work together for the sake of self-expression. These two aspects of our being are not separate entities and should be understood and appreciated as one. In the act of writing, the mind and body function holistically, each aspect of our being benefiting equally. Not only is writing a mental act, it is also a physical act of creativity that allows us to release energy in positive ways. Daily writing leads to a state of happiness much of the time.

We will face challenges in life, but writing allows us to reflect on our experiences and use them as learning opportunities. Writing makes a difference in our ability to problem-solve, empathize, and stop negative thinking because writing causes us to lose ourselves in a moment of creativity. Like reading, writing causes us to suspend all life around us until the moment of creativity has passed. When we immerse ourselves in writing, we give it our "undivided" attention. Whether it's writing to express emotions or create a fictional or poetic world, we don't think about the outside world turning nor the fact they we are turning along with it. We don't think about what happened to us in the past nor do we worry about the future because we are fully engaged in the present moment. Writing is liberating, relaxing, and inspiring, and it increases our opportunities for happiness.

Writing is an act of self-expression or creativity that causes us to become absorbed in the moment. It's a moment when we don't worry about anything, except the writing. Life might offer challenges, but writing turns the challenge into an opportunity for changing the way we live so that we experience happiness much of the time. Writing is fundamental to overall health and emotional well-being. Try it; you'll see.

Don't rely on anyone to do something you can't also do for yourself in a pinch. Plan A and Plan B work together and you are the responsible party, always.

Don't blindly "trust the process" because as long as the process is formulated by people, there is room for error and when an error is made, nobody stands up to take responsibility. In fact, people will find a way to blame you for any failures in communication or functionality. And they would be right. So when you make a Plan A, make sure to include a backup Plan B that centers around who you are. Your job is always to trust your intuition and abilities because that's what you will be relying on, ultimately.


So for your own assurance,  question "the process" or the way things generally work, and the people behind it. Trust your intuition and abilities and have a strategy for overcoming a setback or abandoning your Plan A altogether. You are responsible for your clarity of vision, and success depends on you. How you manage your life so that success is inevitable depends on how much faith you have in your intuitive qualities and in your abilities to get the job done, even if you have to do it yourself.


If you have a vision and a clarity of purpose, and if you are willing to do what it takes to succeed, you are a strong contender in life. However, not everyone will want to reckon with you as a competitor, so many will secretly find ways to sabotage your project, undermine your credibility, or cause you to lose faith. To avoid any of this, rely on your intuition to help you weed out the culprits. Then invite only people who support your mission and efforts to make a difference. 


Every primary plan, Plan A should include having a plan B. Plan B is the plan that is based on your beliefs, your strengths, and your abilities. It is the plan that centers around who you are, what you know how to do, and what you want to accomplish. You'll need a network of support, but only a network that believes in your mission and is willing to help you achieve it.


Stay true to yourself and rely on your intuition and abilities.The ultimate truth will be revealed if you listen to your thoughts and feelings well enough. Trusting the "process" is only as good as the people who formulated it, so trust yourself, more than anything. Don't rely on anyone to do something you can't also do for yourself in a pinch. Plan A and Plan B work together and you are the responsible party, always.

She was supposed to be in school but was expelled the first day for fighting: A thought in progress

Sometimes angels walk among us, protecting us. I don't have proof, but I know people who believe so. I can talk about it now, but I still can't reveal her name, so I'll just call her Tania, a girl-child born against all odds the couple would divorce and that she'd be on her own with no one to guide her and nothing to indicate she was loved, though she probably was, if not all of the time at least some of the time, enough of the time for her to grab a few precious moments, slip them into her pocket and store them away for a rainy day. When days were gloomy and nights were long and sad, she focused on the good times they had, living in the apartment just a few blocks from downtown.

That's how she survived after the rent increased and couldn't be paid and they all had to move away. One day she awoke to the sad news that her father would be moving back to his hometown down South, but they could find a place at the homeless shelter. He had checked. They had an opening. So whenever she could, Tania found herself capturing positive moments and saving them for the rainy day when there was nothing to do but walk the streets, sleep underneath benches at Grace Episcopal Church, and savor each gesture of kindness she received day to day.

She created happiness moment to moment and smiled at the passersby because each and every one had a beautiful smile. She considered their smiles to be a gift, so in order to receive their gift, she willingly gave one of her own. If people walked by when she was sitting on a park bench or if someone sat down next to her, she would wait for them to speak before she smiled. That way, there would be no mistakes.

She was supposed to be in school but was expelled the first day for fighting a girl who was laughing at her unruly hair. They didn't get an answer when they called for her mother to come pick her up but put her out anyway. She continued to stay in the shelter at night but during the day, she had to disappear. Next semester, she would be able to return to school and her mother would be able to sign the papers.

One day while Tania sat on the bench next to the church, a passerby parked his car, walked to her bench and handed her a bag of popcorn. She smiled and said. “Thank you.”  Side by side they sat in silence, she at one end of the bench, and the tall older man at the other. Finally, after about an hour, the man stood up and said, “Have a nice day.” Then he returned to his car and drove away. Once he was out of sight, she started nibbling pieces of popcorn.

Before long, the sun began to set and she could return to the homeless shelter where they thought she was still enrolled in school. She couldn't wait to return to school. All she had to do was stay safe and stay out of trouble. She stole a bag of Cheetos the other day. The man in the car saw her, which is probably why he brought her the bag of popcorn, which means he was probably looking for her.

She didn't know if she should continue to sit on the bench next to Grace Episcopal Church or if she should find a new place to hide in broad daylight. If she stayed, the man would probably return, bringing her something to eat. If she stayed, it could also mean trouble. “Angels walk among us,” her mother always said. She couldn't tell if the tall brown man was an angel or not. To find the answer, she knew she would have to pray.

Her mother got arrested the other night. It happened once before, and her mother was gone a week. Before being handcuffed her mother had said, “Go home.” Tania knew that this really meant, “Find your Uncle Sam,” which she did, but Uncle Sam had a little secret; he always liked her in a grown-up kind of way. This was what he told her the last time she stayed with him. So two nights later, before he arrived home from work, she disappeared. She didn't know where she was going, so she ended up on the other side of town. She was only twelve at the time. Tania didn't know how her mother found her once her time in jail was up. Maybe one of the men her mother knew had been keeping an eye on her.

Again, Tania didn't know how long her mother would be gone. She was only fifteen but she looked older. She had learned how to survive on the streets mostly by not talking to anyone and reading a college history book somebody had thrown away. She was homeless, at least for now. They told her at the shelter that one in 30 children in the state public schools was homeless. She was one of them, but she knew she wouldn't always be. “Angels walk among us,” she reminded herself. Each day, she felt she was on the verge of a miracle. All she needed to do is pray, stay safe, and take life one day at a time.