Ending a "toxic relationship" requires a good "exit strategy." - Part I

As with any relationship, toxic relationships exist in a partnership. It takes two or more people to make it work. Negative social interactions might begin as friendship, but as time goes by, an imbalance of power can develop and at some point, the relationship can change into a negative cycle of disrespect and co-dependency. Eventually, an imbalance of personal  power leads to insecurity and the need for self-validation by those within the relationship. This can include disrespect, abuse of power or other forms of mistreatment due to fear or lack of mutual respect. If allowed to continue unchecked, such negative interactions can be detrimental to emotional health. 


As the imbalance of power increases in a toxic relationship, one person suffers loss of self esteem and diminished emotional strength which allows the other to feel an abnormal sense of power. Over a period of time, the relationship changes into a type of co-dependency or emotional imbalance defined by disrespect, mistreatment, and emotional distress. No matter who the perpetrator happens to be, a toxic relationship is like arsenic, a slow poison. It has the power to kill, figuratively and literally.


We often fail to acknowledge a toxic relationship, but we know when one exists. Any relationship that leaves us feeling sad, insecure, emotionally depleted or psychologically diminished is toxic. Sometimes, the toxicity remains long after the individual has left the premises, but the negative feelings that remain are unmistakable. Becoming aware of  our emotions and what triggers those emotions is key to discovering or detecting "toxic others" whether they are family, friends, co-workers, or respected members of society.


It is important to remember that maintaining negative relationships is a choice. It takes two people to maintain a toxic relationship but only one to end it.  Ignoring such a relationship only postpones the inevitable because unless someone dies or disappears, a toxic relationship will not vanish on its own. 


Making the choice to rid our lives of toxic people is not easy. Far too many fail to manage toxic relationship fearing the consequences, but negative relationships must be managed or eliminated. Toxic relationships don't happen overnight, and likewise, they will not end overnight, so ending a toxic relationship requires courage, determination, and a good exit strategy.