"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men." - Frederick Douglass

Children are our most precious commodity because the future of our world rests in their hands. So why don't we value them so they learn to value themselves? Why don't we listen when they talk so they feel they have something to say? Why don't we instill within our child that sense of importance instead of waiting for them to learn it on their own? There is no rule book for raising children, but they thrive on love, support and creativity. They watch what we do and follow our example.

Building a strong child does not happen on its own. Because it happened to you when you were a child doesn't make it right. Because it was good for someone else doesn't mean it is good for you or your child. When it comes to raising children, there is no "one size fits all." Each child is different, with different temperaments, different abilities, and different learning styles but all children are brilliant at something. It is the job of parents to find that brilliance, nurture it, protect it, and allow it to shine.

Children mostly model the behavior of adults. That's how they know right from wrong and how they determine what's good or bad. If you tell them they're fantastic but treat them like dirt, which do you think they'll believe? 

Children need positive influences, but children also need to face reality, and negative outcomes are part of that reality. When parents offer too much praise while their children are young, constantly complimenting meaningless things or when parents fail to acknowledge and discuss negative experiences, children miss the opportunity to face adversity, build inner strength and become emotionally resilient. 

Life consists of positive and negative experiences, and children need to learn how to accept negative comments or responses. It takes several positive comments to overcome one negative comment, so criticism works best when balanced by positive comments.

As the popular poem goes, "Children Learn what they live." No one said raising a child would be easy, but when we contract to bring children into this world, it's a responsibility that we accept and a job that gets easier if we practice the behavior we want them to learn. Parents are not perfect nor do they have to be, but they need to be conscious and conscientious when raising future leaders of this world. It is easier to build a strong child than to repair a broken one.

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.

If a child lives with fear,
he learns to be apprehensive.

If a child lives with pity,
he learns to feel sorry for himself.

If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy,
he learns what envy is.

If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns to be confident.

If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with praise,
he learns to be appreciative.

If a child lives with acceptance,
he learns to love.

If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with recognition,
he learns that it is good to have a goal.

If a child lives with sharing,
he learns about generosity.

If a child lives with honesty and fairness,
he learns what truth and justice are.

If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him.

If a child lives with friendliness,
he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

If you live with serenity,
your child will live with peace of mind.

With what is your child living?

Source: Canfield, J. & Wells, H. C. (1976). 100 ways to enhance self-concept in the classroom: A handbook for teachers and patents. Boston: Allyn & Bacon.