I knew an angel once

 

I don't have proof, but I know people who do. Angels fly above or walk among us, protecting us, shadowing us until we have sense enough to shadow them. I keep thinking I knew an angel once, my little sister in fact. She lived and loved, hid her angel wings living right under my nose, shadowing me when I should have been shadowing her, watching the way she lived, noticing how she responded to nature and to the world around her, planting flowers, creating happiness, and defying all attempts to make her change.

I can talk about it now, but I still can't reveal her name, so I'll just call her Callie, a girl-child born against the odds to a couple who divorced, leaving her on her own with no one to guide her and nothing to indicate she was special or loved for her spiritual beauty. But she was loved, and when she died, it took years to recover from the loss. 

She was loved if not all of the time, at least some of the time, enough of the time for her to grab a moment or two, slip them into her pocket and store them away like precious gems. When she was feeling down and out—and you could see it in her face, it seemed as though she cashed in those precious jewels, enjoying memories, telling a joke, performing acts of kindness, or admiring flowers blooming in an alleyway.

That's how she survived after he moved away, leaving a mother and nine older children to survive on their own and a baby in a crib. Callie was only six months old, but she conducted herself like a grownup, keeping quiet when the going was rough and rarely crying. She seemed to know when it was not appropriate to bring attention to herself. She seemed to flow with the spirit of the universe, and when she smiled, it was like receiving a precious gift. 

When thinking of how I failed to cherish those precious moments in time, I find myself in a state of disbelief and grief. But I know Callie understands how self-absorbed people can be and I know her heart is big enough to forgive me. Maybe I will meet her again in another lifetime, or in Heaven if I follow her guidance.