Losing one's temper due to anger is only a cover-up.

Losing one's temper due to anger is only a cover-up. Because we don't like to feel vulnerable, we default to what seems a more aggressive emotional response, like anger. Are you hiding your true emotions behind anger? 


If you want to know what you're hiding when you become angry,  stop yourself as soon as you start to feel flushed and flustered, before you've had time to strike back. If you ever wonder why you get so mad at certain times or around certain people, check your feelings and see what shows up—intimidation, fear, rejection, belittlement? It's good if you can notice the feeling but it's much better if you can also name and target the emotion.


When I was in elementary school, I fought a lot because I was bullied. I felt sadness, but my first outward response was anger. Internally, I was feeling something I was too embarrassed to admit. It was only in high school that I learned to hide the anger, at least for a minute or two so as to discover what was really making me respond. It took years for me to stop responding to insults and injury with anger, but I finally grasped the concept. It's not the outward emotion of anger that we need to control. The control must start with recognizing and addressing the inward feelings, those we hide so no one is the wiser about our vulnerabilities. These feelings are attached to emotions that must be named before they can be conquered.


So the next time you feel anger, ask yourself if the incident or situation is worthy of anger, upsetting you for longer than necessary, or is there another emotion you need to address?

Difficulties I face and overcome are signals that I am adapting to change.

When you travel outside of your country of origin, you understand people, places, and things a lot better.  You see how we are connected in the universal scheme of things, and you understand the needs of humanity--compassion, forgiveness, and love. My perspective has changed over the years, from trying to change the world to allowing the world to change me. As a result, I feel less alienated, less differentiated, and less on my own. I feel that no matter what I am experiencing, I am not alone, and the difficulties I face and overcome are signals that I am adapting to change and one day, I will truly overcome and be the person I was meant to be.

"No pain, no gain" is not a cliche'. Hardships can be a gift.

"No pain, no gain" is not a cliche'. It's a commentary on life and attempts to explain why suffering exists. When we face negative circumstances, we must overcome or endure. In the process of suffering and learning to overcome, we build emotional, physical or spiritual strength. But the concept of suffering as something positive is not easy to accept. No one wants to suffer, especially when the suffering never seems to end. When pain and suffering never stop, these words seem lame and useless. But ancient writings and scriptures reinforce the importance of suffering.

First, there is the example of winter, how it seems so dead and barren, but in order to prepare the natural world for the new season known as spring, the harsh weather is needed to protect the flowers and trees. The colder the winter, the more bountiful the fruit on trees and the more colorful the flowers when they bloom in the spring. Henry David Thoreau explains this very well in his book, Walden.

Everyone has heard the words, "diamond in the rough," meaning that something has potential, and with the proper fine-tuning and shaping, it can become a precious gem. To make a diamond requires the right environment, great pressure, extremely high temperatures and a little bit of luck.

Extreme pressure transforms elements into things which are not only useful but also, quite beautiful. Without unbearable conditions, extreme pressures and painful circumstances, life would be ordinary, substances would be ordinary, and people would be ordinary.Through trials and tribulations, we learn deep meaning in life. Not only that, we learn to find joy in the little things and appreciate life as it comes each day.

It's natural to complain sometimes, but the next time you find yourself complaining about your level of suffering, think again. Your suffering means you are meant for greater things. You only need to find meaning in your experiences and determine what lesson you need to learn. Eventually, you will find joy inside of pain and you will truly appreciate the words, "No pain, no gain" because hardships can be a gift.