Choose to be around people who validate you.

We are motivated by our wants and needs. We can postpone or eliminate our wants but our needs must be fulfilled. Abraham Maslow was a psychologist who studied human needs. He created a list of human needs that must be fulfilled. The list is called, A Hierarchy of Needs. It begins with our basic need to survive and ends with our highest need, the need for “self actualization.” 

“Self-actualization” is an emotional need. It inspires us to do our greatest good and to achieve our very best. In order to fulfill this need, we must first fulfill all lower needs. For example, if the need for validation is not fulfilled, our need for "self-actualization" will never appear. If the need to become “self-actualized” never appears, self-actualization can never be realized.

The general order in which our needs appear is:

• Basic needs: food, water, air, survival

• Safety needs: security, protection 

• Psychological needs: love, relationships and belonging

• Emotional needs: self-esteem and validation

• Spiritual needs: self-actualization and achieving our greatest good

Being validated by others is the last need to be fulfilled before the need for “self-actualization” appears. Meeting the need for validation depends on positive feelings about ourselves and others. It's the key to healthy self-esteem and positive social relationships. Validation involves interacting with others and being appreciated by them. It requires connecting with people who appreciate us. Validation closes the gap between meeting lower needs and fulfilling our highest need for “self-actualization.”

It's important to choose our relationships carefully. It's necessary to build connections with people who appreciate and validate us. We build self-esteem when we are around people who offer positive reinforcement and value us. This enables us to become “self-actualized,” achieve our greatest good, and find happiness in life.