When you feel ill and think there is no way to escape your physical or emotional suffering, it's easy to give up. If you don't admit that something is making you feel sick, you will become more so. It takes courage to change thoughts and habits.
If you think you might be destroying your happiness, see a physician. Before visiting a physician, discover how you really feel. Discover what you think about. Discover where you hurt. Try to learn whether your pain is physical, emotional, or both. Try to learn whether your feelings are created by people or by something else. You don't need to consciously focus on these statements. All you need to do is find a quiet place to sit down and write.
Free-write non-stop (making no corrections or erasures) for five minutes only, every day for two weeks. As you express your thoughts and feelings, you will feel better. At the end of two weeks, read what you have written. As you take note of your writings, you will discover patterns of thought and behavior. With two weeks of writing you can track your thoughts and feelings. If your thoughts are mostly negative, you might need to see your family doctor. If they are not, you can still uncover what is really bothering you and begin solving problems.
It takes courage to write, and it takes discipline to continue writing for two weeks, but patterns of thought and feelings tracked for at least two weeks are useful for self-discovery and for physicians when it comes to diagnosing problems and determining whether any treatment is needed. It's not easy to keep track of your thoughts, moods, responses, and physical symptoms, and it's especially difficult to remember them if you don't write them down. Writing is an act of courage, but once the process begins, it is an act of empowerment.
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