Parental Alienation refers to damage in a relationship between a child and a parent, usually due to negative actions, behavior, or words planted by a hostile parent, especially after a divorce. It's difficult to watch a loving relationship between parent and child crumble into nothingness when no amount of discussion with the injured child can make a difference. Alienating a child from his/her parent is one of the worst forms of child abuse because it creates a lack of trust and causes emotional damage that continues into adulthood.
When it comes to relationships between children and parents, the emotional stress can have detrimental effects because when coming from a two-parent family, children trust and rely on both parents, and when one parent is negated, the result can be confusion, loss of self-worth, and even self-blame. In most situations, the void left by an alienated parent speaks louder than words can express. Separation and divorce can be difficult enough without emotional ties to one parent being severed.
No matter how subtle the actions of the hostile parent or how quietly negative feelings are expressed, children have a keen awareness of nonverbal communication, and they model what they see. As a result of exposure to damaging words and deeds, they either become co-conspirators and aggressors, or they become victims. If they participate in alienating a parent, they are bound to feel guilt or even, self-hatred. Alienating one parent leaves a child half-orphaned.
No matter how bad the marital relationship, exposing children to personal negative attitudes, verbal assaults, or malicious acts of hostility is detrimental to their health. Wendy Archer, North Texas chapter manager of Parental Alienation Awareness Organization USA (PAAOUSA), a national nonprofit, shares insights about parental alienation (an excerpt):
1. Many experts call parental alienation “the worst form of child abuse.”
2. Alienated children and young adults often struggle with severe depression and thoughts of suicide. Sadly, many alienated children attempt suicide because of the unbearable pain and heartbreak they suffer.
3. Children understand that they are half of each parent. To make a child hate the other parent is to make a child feel that half of him is not worthy of love.
4. Alienating parents will often claim emphatically that a child or young adult “doesn't want a relationship with the other parent,” but formerly alienated children have confirmed that this is not true.
In my opinion, alienating children from a parent is a criminal act. The damage cannot be undone. When parents separate or divorce, they need to be aware that damage is being done when a parent is denigrated or alienated. Both parents must take responsibility for the emotional well-being of their children, despite personal feelings toward each other. If unable to do so, they need to seek counseling or find a support group in the local area.
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