Being "in love" is a conglomeration of emotions, but does "True Love" bring more happiness?.

Love is an abstract term used to serve many purposes, but it is not easily defined. Not only that, it means different things to different people. At some point in our lives, we all try to define the feelings we have when we care deeply for someone, but can such feelings be contained in only one word?

Because there are so many different types of love and so many emotions associated with being "in love," I'll focus on the feelings associated with being "in love." When I imagine or remember what's been said about being "in love," happiness is not the first thing that comes to mind. Instead, emotions like the following have been associated with being "in love":

• affection
• longing
• belonging
• owning
• chemistry
• synergy
• physicality
• intensity
• bliss 
• possessiveness
• fearfulness
• clinginess
• neediness
• insecurity
• jealousy
• loyalty
• completion 
• hopefulness 

Being in love is an exciting experience, but for some, it is associated with angst and emotional distress due to  unpredictability, volatility, or fear of infidelity. Being "in love" sometimes seems beyond our control, but we easily succumb to our positive feelings.

 Except for the intense positive emotions, very few of us would opt to be "in love," especially if the love is one-sided or lacks mutual shows of affection or respect. Being "in love" is an important stage of life, but just as life is not always evenly balanced and happy, being "in love" is often surprising and unpredictable, sometimes going from blissful to disappointing in a matter of hours.

 People "in love" don't always give and take in equal proportion, and someone usually loves more intensely, but lack of equilibrium is an aspect of being "in love," and the unpredictable nature of being "in love" is part of the excitement that makes it memorable. Being "in love" happens, and sometimes it lasts forever, but usually, it is quick to ignite, short-lived and fleeting, and it can leave us with precious or not so precious memories.

True love is different. It might not be as intense, and it might not be so emotionally engaging, but it offers some level of comfort because it appeals to basic needs and awakens our higher spiritual nature. Humanist psychologist, Abraham Maslow, identified a Hierarchy of basic and spiritual needs that include: need for nourishment, safety, love and belonging; need for self-esteem and respect from others; need for self-actualization and connection to a spiritual higher purpose. True love takes us beyond the narrow focus associated with being "in love."

Love is not easy to define and our attraction to being "in love" is not easily explained, but each type of love has something positive to offer, and it's always better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. We simply need to remember that nothing is permanent, and as our basic needs are met, spiritual needs will surface, and as we become more self-actualized, more focused on our higher purpose in life, we grow into sharing true love.

Love comes in stages and serves a purpose, but over time the type of love will change so as to accommodate a lifestyle or a spiritual need. Whether feeling true love or feeling "in love," we a build a reserve of positive memories, memories to last a lifetime.  Such memories allow us to create positive emotions despite our circumstances, and positive thinking is key to happiness.