Some People Feel That Children Are Over-rated

 

Some people feel that children are over-rated.

Some people feel that children in today's society are overrated, and the joy they provide will never equal the joy they take away from their parents. Despite the many years parents spend working to provide food, clothing, shelter, and modern conveniences, many children want more. Instead of appreciating what they have been given, many adult children are constantly "on the take." Fortunately, as in any relationship, parent-child interactions can be changed.

In the past, children knew their place, knew what was expected of them, and knew how to behave in public places. They were obedient, focused, and knew the value of hard work. To earn success, they knew how to set goals and take steps toward achieving such goals. They learned the value of patience, from statements like, "Rome was not built in a day" or "Good things come to those who wait." For many children of past generations, failure was not an option. 

Today's children are different because their upbringings have been different. Many lack the foundation that children of yesterday took for granted. In the name of love, others have been granted every wish or have been overindulged. Some children today never grow confident enough to make their own decisions or to move out on their own. Even as adults, they remain dependent upon their parents. But who's to blame for this? My  mother used to say, "You can't do better if you don't know better." Have modern-day parents overcompensated for their own strict upbringing? Have they failed their children after all? 

 

When it comes to raising children, there is no such thing as failure because where there's love and willingness, there is a way. While it might take a some time, it's never too late to make a difference in a child's life, no matter the age.  The following article accessed from Dr. Phil's website might provide some insights.

 (c) M.D. Johnson (2014)

 

How to Deal With Your Mooching Child

Is your kid still living at home or taking advantage of you financially? If you're struggling with an adult child that can't — or won't — become self-sufficient, Dr. Phil has advice:

Understand that over-indulgence is one of the most insidious forms of child abuse. Spoiling your children doesn't teach them how the world works. All you are teaching them is that if they ask enough, you'll give them what they want.

Your child is doing what he's doing because he can. Instead of asking why your kid isn't more productive, have a job or goals, ask yourself if you have created an environment in which your child doesn't have to. Can they maintain the standard of living you raised them in without any effort?

Learn how to say no. Your children need to learn that if they choose a behavior, they choose the consequences. Don't allow them to keep choosing behaviors that have negative consequences that you pick up the tab for!

Don't feel guilty for wanting your children to be out on their own. It does not mean you don't love them. It means that you don't want to rob them of the chance to be self-sufficient, productive adults who are able to have a sense of purpose and pride.

Remember that you don't solve money problems with money. You solve money problems with lifestyle, values and priorities. Come up with a plan that contains clear steps and a timeline that both of you can agree upon.

If you're frustrated because all of your help thus far hasn't been appreciated, remember that no good deed goes unpunished. Those you do the most for will resent you the most — because it becomes a bottomless pit. The most valuable gift that you can give your children in this situation is to start requiring more of them and allow them to be grownups.

http://stage29.drphil.com/articles/article/285