To stop negative patterns of thought, go to the source.

To stop negative patterns of thought, we’ve got to dig deep.

If we want to stop negative thoughts and negative self-talk, we’ve got to uncover and confront them. Facing negative thoughts can be difficult because we often prefer to avoid them, but negative thinking has a source, and if we want to find the source of our negativity or the unhappiness that results, we need to rediscover the “unexpressed” emotions that might be lurking underneath.

When we learn to identify our feelings and begin to name the exact emotions, the emotional system will respond. The emotional system never forgets, and if we persist, the source of our negative feelings will be revealed. Once uncovered, each negative emotion can be confronted, questioned and replaced with an alternative that is more positive. We can teach ourselves to accept positive thoughts instead of negative ones.

Learning to recognize emotions and express our feelings is the first step toward gaining control over how we think, react and feel. Psychologists insist, emotions must be expressed or they will haunt us later in life. Some even say, emotions will be expressed outwardly or they’ll be expressed within, affecting our physical and mental health.People who fail to express emotions get “stuck” or subconsciously preoccupied with a past situation that interferes with the ability to face real-life situations or solve problems in the present moment. Unexpressed or repressed emotions can lead to incessant negative thinking, which is linked to the onset of emotional disorders, like depression. 

Beating negative thinking requires that we find and name the correct emotion, connect to the emotion, and follow it until we reach a destination--the situation that first created the negative emotion in the first place. 

Our emotions will guide us. If we allow our emotional system to fully respond to a past negative situation by reflecting on the incident and forcing ourselves to revisit the negative emotion (no matter how painful or deeply hidden), we will be led to the actual underlying situation that became the source of our sad or negative feelings. Once we connect to an emotion, we can allow ourselves to feel what we might have avoided at an earlier time. Following an exact negative emotion requires persistence, but it is important to confront and question the validity of negative emotions every time they surface.

Negative emotions are fueled by situations or events, but the logic behind our emotions may not always reflect the truth. If a negative assessment sounds questionable, it probably does not reflect the truth. Once we are able to question and refute the validity of each negative thought--every time--we will stop negative self-talk, manage our thoughts and responses, and transform our lives.