When it comes to finding happiness, it's not about winning; it's all about the game.

It doesn't matter who we are, we all have a cross to bear or challenges to overcome. Different people bear different crosses, but the burden or challenge is there. Obstacles appear when we see no way out, but in actuality, most of us don't believe in obstacles. Whether our venture is long and arduous or short and sweet, overcoming challenges creates happiness if it leads to somewhere we think we want to be. As the old song goes, "Many a tear has to fall, but it's all in the game."

The brain likes challenges, likes having something to look forward to, likes climbing mountains, and likes anticipating positive outcomes. Such anticipation creates contentment. When it comes to achieving success, we might not accomplish what we set out to do, but the promise of achievement keeps us focused, organized, motivated and on track. Where possibility exists, happiness follows. 

There was a slogan, "All you need is a dollar and a dream." Somehow, it felt great to ponder the question, "What if?"  With that slogan, happiness lies in the possibility of winning with no guarantees, but when possibility is the end-game, challenges never disappoint. They make us feel happy, at least for a while.

It doesn't matter the challenges we face. What matters is what we do to overcome adversity and how much we are willing to give up in order to get what we want. It's not about the winning or losing, nor about the destination. It's about forward movement and positive feelings created when we have notions of hope and possibility.

When faced with adversity, there must be the expectation that we can and will overcome, but whether we actually overcome an obstacle is really not important. The value of facing and overcoming obstacles is found in how well we improvise or how well we transform reality to get what we want, what we were promised or what we think we deserve. Some call it blessed assurance; others call it positive thinking. Some call it hope; others call it crazy.

From my perspective, it's not about the end-game at all; it's about the in-between game or the strategic move we must make to accomplish our goal. This becomes the motivating factor behind our accomplishments. The sense of hopefulness keeps us going, creates positive feelings, and assures our happiness. 

Call it hope, faith or call it insanity. There is comfort in thinking we have what it takes to win in this world, and as long as we see possibility, we'll create new challenges to overcome. In a perpetual cycle of expectation with no guarantees, challenges become neither obstacles nor crosses to bear. They become motivators and creators of happiness. In my opinion, when it comes to finding happiness, it's not about the winning; it's all about the game.

Reflections on a cringe-worthy domestic violence rerun

I don't like suspenseful movies, but I couldn't stop watching this domestic violence rerun. The brief review that follows inadequately represents what the movie is really about, but I offer it anyway:

A young woman fakes her own death in an attempt to escape her            nightmarish  marriage, but discovers it is impossible to elude her           controlling husband. Sleeping with the Enemy (1991) 

(www.imdb.com).

 Director: 

Joseph Ruben

Writers:

Nancy Price (novel), Ronald Bass (screenplay)

Stars:

Julia Roberts, Patrick Bergin, Kevin Anderson |See full cast & crew »

Domestic violence is defined as "a pattern of abusive behavior in which someone uses physical, sexual, psychological or other types of harm against a current or former partner, an immediate family member or another relative." Signs of domestic violence are usually concealed, and hospitals and schools often miss signs of child abuse as a form of domestic violence. Categories of domestic violence include stalking, threats or other behaviors meant to manipulate, intimidate or control someone else.

Domestic violence is noisy, sloppy, and risky because when people are so out of control as to inflict harm, anything can happen. Voices are raised and arguments escalate into violent behavior. There are sounds of chaos--shattered glass, screams and shrieking, cursing and coughing. There are children crying, as the entire home comes unhinged.


In big, bustling cities where people tend to mind their own business and in quiet little towns where nobody minds their own business, domestic violence happens and goes unreported. Nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States alone. 

Domestic violence is not only about women. Many such victims are men. Domestic violence occurs despite race and ethnicity, and in same sex relationships as in heterosexual relationships. 

Domestic violence was once dismissed as "a domestic affair" by those in authority but due to its prevalence in society, it is beginning to get the attention it deserves. 

Domestic violence changes your perspective on life.
www.domesticviolencehotline/help